Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.|Napoleon
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.|Chessmaster Savielly Grigorievitch Tartakower (1887-1956) 
It may be difficult to teach a person to respect another unless we can help people to see things from the other's point of view.|Kohei Goshi
One sparrow does not make spring.|Latin American Proverb
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.|Mark Twain
Arthur: "It's at times like this I wish I'd listened to my mother." Ford : "Why, what did she say?" Arthur: "I don't know, I never listened." |Douglas Adams
Progress is not created by contented people.|Frank Tyger
'Tis one thing to be tempted, another thing to fall.|William Shakespeare
Gravity: Not just a good idea, it's the law!
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought---particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.|Woody Allen
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum. (I think I think, therefore, I think I am.) |Ambrose Bierce
Camarn que se duerme, se lo lleva la corriente.(The shrimp that falls asleep gets carried away by the current.)|Spanish Saying 
The big thieves hang the little ones.|Czech Proverb
Rise, Brothers! Come let us possess this land. Never say: "Let well enough alone" . . . Be discontented. Be dissatisfied.|John Hope
The time to adjust your sandals is not while you're walking through a melon patch.|Asian saying
As far as the propositions of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.|Albert Einstein
Golf is a good walk spoiled.|Mark Twain
Once the game is over, the King and the pawn go back in the same box.|Italian Proverb
100% of the shots you don't take don't go in|Wayne Gretzky
You may give without loving, but you can't love without giving.|David C. McCasland
Do not use while sleeping.|Directions for Conair curling iron
His ignorance is encyclopedic.|Abba Eban (1915-)
Wisdom is justified by all her children.|Jesus
We can't all be sound, We've got to be the way we're made.|Mark Twain
Never give up and never face the facts.|Ruth Gordon
The Internet is the first medium that allows anyone with reasonably inexpensive equipment to publish to a wide audience.  It is the first medium that distributes information globally at almost no cost.|Bill Gates
Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.|Martin Luther King Jr.
People want to read about people.|Newspaper dictum
Phasing out the human race will solve every problem on earth, social and environmental.|Wild Earth magazine
People are more important than rules!|Len Lane
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.|Max Ehrmann
Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures.|Henry Ward Beecher
I was walking down the street and saw a sign on a post.  It said:  "Lost -- $50.  If found, just keep it."|Steven Wright
A handful of patience is worth more than a bushel of brains.|Danish Proverb
So if it is dark here, rise higher; it is light enough up around the throne.|D.L.Moody
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.|Golda Meir
I know what I want to do: I wish to manifold [print] the Bible.|Johann Gutenberg (1398-1468)
Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God|Bob Pierce
Do not remove a fly from your neighbor's face with a hatchet.|Chinese Proverb
Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons.|Popular Mechanics, 1949
Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.|Chinese Proverb
We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented|Kristoff
Make plans by seeking advice; if you wage war, obtain guidance.|Proverbs 20:16
No trees were killed in the sending of this message.  However a large number of electrons were temporarily inconvenienced.|
He who seeks revenge should remember to dig two graves.|Chinese Proverb
If, however, six-figure fees are the goal, then let them [lawyers] accept the loathing and resentment without pompous self-justification.|E.W. Neville
When I have a kid, I want to buy one of those strollers for twins.  Then put the kid in and run around, looking frantic.|Steven Wright
If the wind will not serve, take to the oars.|Latin Proverb
Don't overuse exclamation marks!!!!|William Safire
Struggle is the father of everthing.|a German philosophy
Never give in, never give in, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER--in nothing great or small, large or petty--never give in except to convictions of honour and common sense.|Winston Churchill
Today I was arrested for scalping low numbers at the deli.  I sold a #3 for 28 bucks.|Steven Wright
Christianity broke the heart of the world, and mended it.|
I know you're looking for a ruby in a mountain of rocks, but there ain't no Coupe de Ville hiding at the bottom of a crackerjack box.|Jim Steinman
Mothers, food, love, and career, the four major guilt groups.|Cathy Guisewite
The true wisdom of man consists in the knowledge of God the Creator and Redeemer.|John Calvin
In crises, the most daring course is often the safest.|Henry A. Kissinger
Do something.  If it doesn't work, do something else.  No idea is too crazy.|Jim Hightower
Marriage is a wonderful invention; but, then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.|Billy Connolly
When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends.|Japanese Proverb
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.|Phyllis Diller
Where large sums of money are concerned, it is advisable to trust nobody.|Agatha Christie
Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.|Swedish Proverb
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.|Harriet Beecher Stowe
An intelligence test often shows how smart one would have been not to take it.|W.G.P.
Who begins too much accomplishes too little.|German Proverb
While hunting in Africa, I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How an elephant got into my pajamas I'll never know. |Groucho Marx
Everybody talks about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.|Mark Twain
It is the way we react to circumstances that determines our feelings.|Dale Carnegie
Fools are the only folk on the earth who can absolutely count on getting what they deserve.|Stephen King
You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.|
The Word of God will prove its divine origin by its divine power.  Let's let it loose in the world!|John R. W. Stott
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.|Thomas Watson, IBM Chairman 1943
I will open a path into the interior or perish!|Dr. David Livingstone
World ends today at 9:30 pm!  Film at 11:00...|
A hunch is creativity trying to tell you something.|
Everyone serves a purpose in life, even if it is to be a horrible example.|
There's nothing remarkable about it. All one has to do is hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself. |Johann Sebastian Bach
Positive: mistaken at the top of one's voice.|
All generalizations are bad.|
If you refuse to be made straight when you are green, you will not be made straight when you are dry.|African Proverb
The nail that sticks up will be pounded down.|Japanese Proverb
Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.|Jesus (Mt 4:19)
All work and no play, will make you a manager.|
Hold a true friend with both hands.|Nigerian Proverb
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.|Ken Olson, chairman Digital Equipment Corp. 1977
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us.|Western Union memo, 1876
Religion, morality, and knowledge, being being necessary to good government and the happiness of mankind, schools and the means of education shall forever be encouraged|Northwest Ordinance USA (1787)
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.|Jesus (Mt 5:16)
SAAB Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown|
These [rights] may be best understood by reading and carefully studying the the institutes of the great Law Giver. . . which are to be found . . . in the New Testament.|Samual Adams
Funny, only sensible people agree with me.|
Missionaries are very human folks . . . simply a bunch of nobodies trying to exalt Somebody|Jim Elliot
An idle mind is worth two in the bush.|
We have this day restored the Sovereign to whom all men ought to be obedient.|Samual Adams upon signing the Declaration of Independance
The future is purchased by the present.|
When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.|Chinese Proverb
If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself!|
Love is like a pair of socks - you must have two and they have to match.|
You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was.|Irish Proverb
God will not look you over for medals, degrees or diplomas, but for scars.|Elbert Hubbard
He who would leap high must take a long run.|Danish Proverb
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. |Douglas Adams
"The revelation which has taken place in Christ is not the communication of a formula about the world, the possession of which enables one to be at rest, but the power of God which sets us in motion, the creation of a new cosmos.|Karl Barth
To err is human; to really foul things up takes a computer.|
Life is either a great adventure or it is nothing at all|Helen Keller
Everyone needs a place in the sun, especially when it rains.|
To despair is to turn one's back on God|Marilla Cuthbert
Talk is cheap because Supply exceeds Demand.|
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.|
Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.|Malayan Proverb
Government expands to absorb revenue, and then some.|
There are many plans in a man's heart, nevertheless the LORD's counsel--that will stand.|Prov 19:21
I believe that every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises. |Neil Armstrong
The best armor is to keep out of range.|Italian Proverb
Some things have got to be believed to be seen.|
Worship fulfills God's love.  He loves people so vastly that He wills to exalt them to something better than greatness; He wants to bring them into an honored nearness to Him.|Steven C. Hawthorne
Opportunities do not wait.|
A critic is a man who leaves no turn unstoned.|
Never enough time, unless you're serving it.|Anu's Word Server
The worst form of inequality is to try to make unequal things equal.|Aristotle
Kicked wide of the goal with such precision.|
Chipmunks roasting on an open fire.|
As selfishness and complaint pervert and cloud the mind, so love with its joy clears and sharpens the vision. |Helen Keller
The soft-minded man always fears change.  He feels security in the status quo, and he has an almost morbid fear of the new. For him, the greatest pain is the pain of a new idea.|Martin Luther King Jnr
At the beginning and at the end of love, the two lovers are embarrassed to find themselves alone.|La Bruyere
Such as are your habitual thoughts, such also will be the character of your mind; for the soul is dyed by the thoughts.|Marcus Aurelius
Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry.|Spanish Proverb
We are ready to meet them, beard to beard|William Wallace, 1297
Never hit a man with glasses.  Use your fist!|
The reverse side also has a reverse side.|Japanese Proverb
...all that were never born again...you are thus in the hands of an angry God; 'tis nothing but his mere pleasure that keeps you from being this moment swallowed up in everlasting destruction.|Jonathan Edwards
One man's upload is another man's download|
Did I just step on someone's toes again?|
The ideal man bears the accidents of life with dignity and grace, making the best of circumstances.|Aristotle
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.|Aristotle
The blood of the soldier makes the glory of the general.|
Fall seven times, stand up eight.|Japanese Proverb
Modern man is the missing link between apes and human beings.|
A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.|
It's just a job. Grass grows, birds fly, waves pound the sand. I just beat people up.|Muhammed Ali
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.|Chinese Proverb
He who eats sea shells will smell like the ocean.|
If you have to travel on a Titanic, why not go first class?|
People forget how fast you did a job, but remember how well you did it.|
Del dicho al hecho, hay mucho trecho.(From the saying to the act, there is much distance.)|Spanish Proverb
Familiarity breeds contempt, and children.|Mark Twain
Red ship crashes into blue ship - sailors marooned.|
Remember: even if you win the rat race, you will still be a rat.|
In the real world, the right thing never happens in the right place and the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians to make it appear that it has.|Mark Twain
There are no illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents.|Leon R. Yankwich
Ask about your neighbors, then buy the house.|Jewish Proverb
When everybody is somebody, then nobody is anybody.|
Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.|Mark Twain
A man cannot spin and reel at the same time.|
Never answer an annonymous letter|Yogi Berra
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.|
If you wish to know what a man is, place him in authority.|Yugoslav Proverb
Fools rush in wherever lottery tickets are sold|
A bad workman quarrels with his tools.|
Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.|
Let your eyes look straight ahead, and your eyelids look right before you.|Prov 4:25
When you drink the water, remember the spring.|Chinese Proverb
There is no such thing as an uninteresting subject; the only thing that can exist is an uninterested person.|G.K.Chesterton
Enough research will tend to support your theory.|
The road to the patent office is paved with good inventions.|
Ninety percent of the game is half mental.|Yogi Berra
It takes a mature person to be really young.|
The ruin of a nation begins in the homes of its people.|African Proverb
Pobody's Nerfect!|
He that won't be ruled by the rudder will be ruled by the rock.|Scottish Proverb
No dejes para maana lo que puedas hacer hoy.(Don't postpone until tomorrow what you can do today.)|Spanish Proverb
Loyalty to petrified opinion never yet broke a chain or freed a human soul.|Mark Twain
Make like a drum and beat it!|
The Bible consists of a single drama: the entrance of the Kingdom, the power and the glory of the living God in this enemy-occupied territory|Ralph D. Winter
I have a 9600bps modem and 1.5bps fingers|
When the well is dry we know the worth of water.|
I may not be perfect, but parts of me are excellent.|
What's another word for thesaurus?|Steven Wright
I am Homer of Borg. You will... Oh! Donuts! |
No pain, no gain; no thorns, no throne; No gall, no glory; no cross, no crown.|William Penn
No!  I cant be quiet!  I am angry and bitter.  I have to speak.|Job 6:11
When putting cheese in a mousetrap, always leave room for the mouse.|
I mustanottagottalotta sleep last night.|
Training young adults for ministry in order to bridge the gap between classroom learning and life experience.|VTI Purpose Statement
Where love is thin, faults are thick.|
Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo|
Make Lots of Money, Enjoy the Work, Operate Within the Law: Choose 2 |
Pride in prosperity becomes misery in adversity.|
He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever.|Old Chinese Saying
The gene pool has no lifeguard.|
Touch if you must, Pay up if you bust.|
I feel like a fugitive from the law of averages.|
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.|A. A. Milne 
A country can be judged by the quality of its proverbs.|German Proverb
Tolkien is hobbit-forming.|
An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.|
The most efficient labor-saving device is still money. |Franklin P. Jones 
Many seek the ruler's favour, but justice for man comes from YHWH.|Solomon (Pr 29:26)
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.|Isa 26:3
The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise.|Prov 11:30
To rest is to rust.|
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.|
The . . . population [who] depends on the . . . compressed headline service of television news can expect to be exploited by demagogues and dictators who prey upon the semi-informed.|Walter Cronkite
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room. |Winston Churchill
Be not afraid of proceeding slowly, be only afraid of standing still.|Chinese Proverb
Turn at my rebuke; surely I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you.|'Wisdom' (Pr 1:23)
And every stranger's face I see reminds me that I long to be...  homeward bound.|Paul Simon
Listen carefully.  If anybody's got any money - to hoard or to throw away - you can be sure he stole it from other people.  Not from rich people who can spare it, but from poor people who can't.|William Saroyan
You can always count on Americans to do the right thing -- after they've tried everything else.|Winston Churchill
Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.|Winston Churchill
>From now on, ending a sentence with a preposition is something up with which I will not put.|Winston Churchill
Can you imagine the silence if everyone said only what he knows?|
A good novel tells us the truth about it's hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.|G.K. Chesterton
Reading is important -- read between the lines. Don't swallow everything.|Gwendolyn Brooks
Do not want others to know what you have done? Better not have done it anyways.|Chinese Proverb
Donkey's lips do not fit onto a horse's mouth. |Chinese Proverb
"Bother!" said Pooh & reached for the reset button.|
Change is inevitable.|Disraeli
Man is what he believes.|Anton Chekhov
One cannot refuse to eat just because there is a chance of being choked. |Chinese Proverb
Biplane  ...last words a pilot says before bailing out.|
Chess is the art of battle|
If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying.  It's the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep|Dale Carnegie
Apathy is infinitely more annoying than ignorance.|D. Bennett
A smile will gain you ten more years of life.|Chinese Proverb
When I appear in public, people expect me to neigh, grind my teeth paw the ground and swish my tail --- none of which is easy.|Princess Anne
It is a venture to take wife and children into a country where fever - African fever - prevails.  But who that believes in Jesus would refuse to make a venture for such a Captain?|Dr. David Livingstone
A time to weep, and a time to laugh.|Ecclesiastes 3:1
Talent develops in tranquillity, character in the full current of human life. |Goethe
I don't visit my parents often because Delta Airlines won't wait in the yard while I run in.|Margaret Smith
"Bother!" said Pooh, and deleted C:\WINDOWS.|
(A)bort, (R)etry, (I)nfluence with a large hammer.|
In all fighting, the direct method may be used for joining battle but indirect methods will be needed to secure victory.|Sun Tzu
These eggs want salt (this person wants more than he is saying)|Nicaraguan Proverb
Bye bye, boys! Have fun storming the castle!|Miracle Max
Getting along with men isn't what's truly important.  The vital knowledge is how to get along with one man.|Phyllis McGinley
It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others.|John Andrew Holmes
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.|Leonard Brandwein 
To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth.|Voltaire
It is better to have never loved than to have loved and lost.|Penn
Give us the tools and we will finish the job.|Winston Churchill
Beauty provoketh thieves sooner than gold.|William Shakespeare
One has a greater sense of degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience.|Alice Jones
A lie is still a lie if everyone believes it, and the truth is still the truth if no one believes it|Dan Scott
A vacation frequently means that the family goes away for a rest, accompanied by mother, who sees that the others get it.|Marcelene Cox
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which was planted. |Ecclesiastes 3:1
Q: How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?    A: Real men aren't afraid of the dark.|
Truth is always exciting.  Speak it, then,  Life is dull without it.|Pearl Buck
Waiho mate tangata e mihi (Let someone else acknowledge your virtues)|Maori Proverb
He manga wai koia kia kore e whitikia (It is a big river indeed that cannot be crossed)|Maori Proverb
There's no point in speaking unless you can improve on silence.|Edmund Muskie
A leopard never changes his stripes.|Al Gore
A little thoughtfulness brings a lot of happiness.|
It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be.|Brigitte Bardot
There are two things I've learned: There is a God. And, I'm not Him.
Best men are often moulded out of faults.|William Shakespeare
Wisdom begins in wonder. |Socrates
Alone, even in a crowd.  Dead, but among the living...|
Everything is in a state of flux, including the status quo.|Robert Byrne
I have tainted my legend in order to end his.|Ulric Wolfshead
If pregnancy were a book they would cut the last two chapters.|Nora Ephron
I came, I saw, I deleted all your files. |
God loves us just the way we are; but He loves us too much to leave us that way.|Max Lucado 
But at least watch them, and see how men die.|Claudius
All which is forgotten need not necessarily be dead.|H.P.Lovecraft
People do not like to think.  If one thinks, one must reach conclusions.  Conclusions are not always pleasant.|Helen Keller
Call it a hunch|Quasimodo
Alcohol:  The more you drink, the less you think!|Dinosaur TV ad
. . .this we can give to God in return after having been chastened by Him, to exalt and praise His wonders before every nation that is anywhere under the heaven|Patrick
COPS is filmed on location twenty years ago.|
All I got for Christmas was a lousy bag of rocks|Weird Al
Courage is doing what you are afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared.|Eddie Rickenbacher 
All I want for Christmas is a a box of smurfs and a mallet|
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.|Rita Rudner
Nothing is worth doing unless the consequences may be serious.|George Bernard Shaw 
At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves.|Orwell
Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone?|Edgar Allan Poe
Art is a lie that makes us realize the truth.|Picasso
It is wrong for two people to live as one.  Should one die, the survivor would therefore, be only half a person.|P.K. Shaw
People with purpose create their own lives.|Michael Morgan
Everything that can be invented has been invented.|Director of the US patent office (1899)
Vision is the art of seeing things invisible.|Jonathon Swift
Before you argue with a fool make sure he is not similarly occupied.|W.G.P.
It doesn't matter if you win or lose, until you lose.|Angie Papadakis
To travel hopefully is a better thing then to arrive, and the true success is to labour.|Robert Louis Stevenson
Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I understand.|Chinese Proverb
Father of a teenage daughter when answering the telephone; "No this isn't dreamboat this is supply ship".|W.G.P.
Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.|Shirley Conran
Never lose sight of the fact that old age needs so little but needs that little so much.|Margaret Willour
Husbands are like fire on the hearth - likely to go out if left unattended.|W.G.P.
Making a mistake is falling down, failure is not getting up again.|Helen Keller
Create a dream and give it everything you have, you could be surprised just how much you are capable of acheiving.|Sara Henderson
Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.|Unknown
RIDDLE TIME: What has three legs in the morning, two in the afternoon, and three in the evening?|
You will not see an elephant moving on your own head, only the louse moving on another's.|African Proverb
If I am asked what is my creed, I must reply, It is Jesus Christ.|Charles Haddon Spurgeon
Regardless of danger I must make known the gift of God and everlasting consolation, without fear and frankly I must spread everywhere the name of God|Patrick
RIDDLE TIME:  No sooner spoken than broken.  What is it?|
I am sent to preach the evangel of Jesus Christ to such as please to hear it; and it hath two parts, repentance and faith.|John Knox
Make up your mind to act decidedly and take the consequences.|Thomas Henry Huxley
The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.|Russell Beland
RIDDLE TIME:   Ben was 20 years old in 1980 but only 15 years old in 1985.  How come?|
Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.|Chuck Smith
Don't fight the problem, decide it.|George C. Marshall
He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.|Jack Bross
John and Mary had never met.  They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.|Russell Beland
RIDDLE TIME:   A man filled an empty barrel.  It was lighter than when he had started.  What did he fill it with?|
Every wrong seems possible today, and is accepted.  I don't accept it.|Pablo Casals
A scalded cat fears the cold water|English saying
You must not fight too often with one enemy, or you will teach him all your art.|Napolean Bonaparte
A committee is a cul de sac to which ideas are lured and then quietly strangled.|John A. Lincoln
Unused power slips imperceptibly into the hands of another.|Konrad Heiden
Valentine's Day is for all who know love regardless of age, or where you're from.|Verka Paunovska-Trajceska
Child-like and childish are totally different concepts.|
Everything's a lie and that's a fact.|Jim Steinman
Childhood is short and maturity is forever|Calvin
Delight yourself also in YHWH, and He shall give you the desires of your heart|David (Ps 37:4)
You can decide to do a thing.  You can decide not to do a thing.  ...or you can decide not to decide.|Stephen King
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.|Wilson Mizner
Ignorance is when you don't know something and someone finds out you don't know.|W.G.P.
A man is judged by his deeds, not by his words.|Russian Saying
I don't mind inflation if it means I go up when I die.|P.K. Shaw
Perhaps the reward of the spirit who tries is not the goal but the exercise.|E.V. Cooke
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.|Earl Wilson
It is not always the same thing to be a good man and a good citizen.|Aristotle
One does not sharpen the axes after the right time; after the time they are needed.|Russian Saying
For God sent not his son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.|John 3:17
Money can't buy me love.|Lennon/McCartney
Suddenly.  I'm not half the man I used to be.  There's a shadow hanging over me.  Oh yesterday cam suddenly.|Lennon/McCartney
Boredom is the bitter fruit of too much routine, or none at all.|Brendan Francis
27. Youth and skill are no match for experience and treachery.|
Even if a log remains in the river for a hundred years, it will never become a crocodile.|Mali Proverb
28. No amount of advance planning will ever replace dumb luck.|
The taller a bamboo grows, the nearer the top bends down to the ground.|Chin people of Burma
29. Anything you do can get you fired; this includes doing nothing.|
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave, he's forfeited his freedom.  Only the person who risks is truly free.|Leo Buscalia
24. This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.|
Not all that wander are lost|Bilbo Baggins
You needn't be afraid of a barking dog, but you should be afraid of a silent dog.|Russian Saying
All that is gold does not glitter|Bilbo Baggins
One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down.|Russian Saying
The old that is strong does not wither|Bilbo Baggins
I wish to wait for His promise . . . in the Gospel:  They shall come from the east and the west, and shall sit down with Abraham and Isaac and Jacob---as we believe the faithful will come from all the world|Patrick
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.|Bilbo Baggins
A fly will not get into a closed mouth.|Russian Saying
If you have to swallow a frog, try not to think about it.  If you have to swallow two frogs, don't swallow the smaller one first.|
The United States has become a place where you neighborhood video store is still open at 10 p.m., while the library is closed at midday.|James Lardner
There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.|
The best opportunities in our lives stand behind the forbidding door of the great unknown.|Don McCullough
Indecision is the key to flexibility.|
In nature there are neither rewards nor punishments - there are consequences.|Robert G. Ingersoll
We are going to fight.  We are going to be hurt.  And in the end we will stand.|Roland
The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.|
I hate quotations.  Tell me what you know.|Ralph Waldo Emerson
There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.|
Chocolate is a serious thing!|Counselor Troi
The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.|
The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.|
Forbid that we should ever consider the holding of a commission from the King of Kings a sacrifice . . .|David Livingstone
We do not care of what we have, but we cry when it is lost.|Russian Saying
Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.|
If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.|
Every now and then I get a little bit tired of listenin' to the sound of my tears.|Jim Steinman
Every now and then I fall apart.|Jim Steinman
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.|Clarke's Third Law
Be a life long or short, its completeness depends on what it was lived for.|David Starr Jordan
Nothing will ever be attempted if all possible objections must be first overcome.|Samuel Johnson
Temper merely shows lack of control and temporarily places you in the ranks of lunatics and fools.|William Nickerson
I asked God for all things so I could enjoy life.  He gave me life so I could enjoy all things.|
Thirst knows no season|Coke Jan.7 1922
Do not praise yourself whike going into battle; praise yourself coming out of battle.|Russian Saying
Strength is born in the deep silence of long-suffering hearts; not amid joy.|Felicia Hermans
Everybody thinks of changing humanity and nobody thinks of changing himself.|Leo Tolstoy
Let us be as generous in judging others as we are in judging ourselves.|
And I will walk at liberty, for I seek Your precepts.|Ps 119:45
Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing.|Albert Einstein
He who would leap high must take a long run.|Danish Proverb
The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.|The Merchant of Venice
That's one small step for [a] man; one giant leap for mankind.|Neil Armstrong
The man, who has seen the rising moon break out of the clouds at midnight, has been present like an archangel at the creation of light and of the world.|Ralph Waldo Emerson
We need our enemies to teach us what friends in kindness never show.|Gwen Harwood
Never claim as a right what you can ask for as a favour.|J. Churton Collins
Ability hits the mark where presumption overshoots and diffidence falls short.|John Henry Newman
A lot of us would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.|W.G.P.
I had ambition not only to go farther than any man had ever been before, but as far as it was possible for a man to go.|Captain James Cook
Always choose a busy man when you want a job done; the others haven't the time.|W.G.P.
To judge wisely, we must know how things appear to the unwise.|George Eliot
The greatest achievement is not ever failing, but rising every time we do fail.|Anonymous
Why is the alphabet in that order?  Is it because of that song? The guy who wrote that song wrote everything.|Steven Wright
But the only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.|Clarke's Second Law
I went to the cinema, and the prices were:  Adults $5.00, children $2.50.  So I said, "Give me two boys and a girl."|Steven Wright
I have a decaffeinated coffee table.  You'd never know it to look at it.|Steven Wright
YWHH our God, YHWH is one!  You shall love YWHH your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength|Deut 6:4-5
One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab.  The movie cost me $95.|Steven Wright
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.|Steven Wright
I was reading the dictionary.  I thought it was a poem about everything.|Steven Wright
I got tired of calling the movies to listen to what is playing so I bought the album.|Steven Wright
Who is like YHWH our God . . . who humbles Himself to behold the things that are in the heavens and in the earth?|Ps 113:5-6
I plugged my phone in where the blender used to be.  I called someone.  They went "Aaaaahhhh..."|Steven Wright
I invented the cordless extension cord.|Steven Wright
We are the light!|Mark Sorell
I couldn't find the remote control to the remote control.|Steven Wright
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours.|Yogi Berra
I have the oldest typewriter in the world.  It types in pencil.|Steven Wright
I saw a sign:  "Rest Area 25 Miles".  That's pretty big.  Some people must be really tired.|Steven Wright
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.|Steven Wright
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?|Vincent Van Gogh
My girlfriend does her nails with white-out.  When she's asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them.|Steven Wright
I had a friend who was a clown.  When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car.|Steven Wright
So I get off the plane and I forget to take off my seat-belt and I'm dragging the plane through the terminal...  The wings are knocking people over...|Steven Wright
My neighbors don't like it when I talk to my plants...  I use a megaphone.|Steven Wright
I like to pick up hitchhikers.  When they get in the car I say, "Put on your seat belt.  I want to try something.  I saw it once in a cartoon, but I think I can do it."|Steven Wright
I bought a house, on a one-way dead-end road.  I don't know how I got there.|Steven Wright
Is my car the only one in America where someone breaks in and turns up my radio every time I park?|Steven Wright
My neighbor has a circular driveway...  He can't get out.|Steven Wright
I want to start a car repair shop.  I have already got the air for the tires.|Steven Wright
I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out.  Now my car goes 500 miles per hour.  The harmonica sounds *amazing*.|Steven Wright
I play the harmonica.  The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window.  I've been arrested three times for practicing.|Steven Wright
I locked my keys in the car the other day.  But it was alright, I was still inside.|Steven Wright
One night a jet flew a little bit too close to my house.  I was walking from the living room to the kitchen, and the stewardess told me to sit down.|Steven Wright
I get quiet joy from the observance of anyone who does his job well.|William C. Feather
I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands.  Her name was "woman".|Steven Wright
A decline in courage may be the most striking feature that an outside observer notices in the West today.|Alexandre Solzhenitsyn
I tried to draw my shadow once, but I couldn't...  My arm kept moving.|Steven Wright
I got a new shadow.  I had to get rid of the other one...  It wasn't doing what I was doing.|Steven Wright
In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid.  What can man do to me?|David (Ps 56:11)
Suppose everybody cared enough, everybody shared enough, wouldn't everybody have enough?|Frank Buchman
I didn't know it then, but looking back, in hindsight, I realize that when I was younger I could see into the future.  Now I'm getting all my premonitions as flashbacks!|Steven Wright
It is best not to swap horses while crossing the river.|Abraham Lincoln
The grass is greener on the other side only because we haven't had a chance to mow it.|P.K. Shaw
Look at everything as though you were seeing it for the first or last time.  Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.|Betty Smith
Why do you spend money for what is not bread, and your wages for what does not satisfy?|Isa 55:2
Do not confuse the pleasure of pleasing with the happiness of loving.|Coco Chanel
People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.|Bob Hope
The next time you call your dog a dumb animal, remember who he's got working for him.|Anon
You don't make the poor richer by making the rich poorer.|Winston Churchill
Instead of loving you enemies, treat your friends a little better.|E.W. Howe
One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children.  They had all the paintings up on refrigerators.|Steven Wright
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time.|Steven Wright
I will bring you out . . . I will rescue you . . . I will redeem you . . . I will take you as My people, and I will be your God|YHWH (Ex 6:6-7)
He asked me if I knew what time it was.  I said, "Yes, but not right now."|Steven Wright
Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.|Steven Wright
(Referring to a glass of water)  I mixed this myself.  Two parts H, one part O.  I don't trust anybody!|Steven Wright
Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.|Steven Wright
God will provide for Himself the lamb for a burnt offering|Abraham
I like to reminisce with people I don't know.  Granted, it takes longer.|Steven Wright
My watch is three hours fast, and I can't fix it.  So I'm going to move to New York.|Steven Wright
I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract.  No brush, no paint, no canvas, I just think about it.|Steven Wright
Bankruptcy is the legal proceeding in which you put your money in your coat pocket and give your coat to your creditors.|Joey Adams
It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there.  Hunters would be all confused.|Steven Wright
The past always looks better than it was.  It's only pleasant because it isn't here.|Finley Peter Dunne (Mr Dooley)
Though they call on the Most High, none at all exalt Him.|Hosea 11:7b
Stop repeat offenders.  Don't re-elect them!|
The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon.|Sir John E. Ericksen
Keep honking while I reload.|Bumper Sticker
When I think over what I have said, I envy dumb people.|Seneca
I'm kinda tired.  I was up all night trying to round off infinity.  Then I got bored and went out and painted passing lines on curved roads.|Steven Wright
It's only when you abandon your ambitions that they become possible.|Thomas Kennedy
Call on God, but row away from the rocks.|Indian Proverb
So, the moral of the story is, if you want it, go for it because it will be the best thing even if others don't agree at the time.|Karen Bryan
Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.|Steven Wright
I put hardwood floors on top of wall-to-wall carpet.|Steven Wright
Most women would rather have beauty than brains - because they know men can see better than they can think.|James Dobson
Sponges grow in the ocean.  That just kills me.  I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.|Steven Wright
When you exit the bus please be sure to lower your head and watch your step.  If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language.  Thank you.|Bus in Orlando, FL
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.|Steven Wright
Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement.|Henry Ford
So take a look at me now.  Well, there's just an empty space.|Phil Collins
Happiness to a dog is what lies on the other side of a door.|Charleton Ogburn, Jr
It is no use saying "we are doing our best."  You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary.|Winston Churchill
We have met the enemy, and he is us.|Walt Kelly
Whenever you see a successful business, someone once made a courageous decision.|Peter Drucker
A man can stand almost anything except a succession of ordinary days.|Goethe
If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.|Bumper Sticker
Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.|YHWH (Jer 33:3)
Excess on occasion is exhilarating.  It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.|W. Somerset Maugham
And you coming back to me is against all odds, it's the chance I've got to take.|Phil Collins
I lost a button hole today.  Where am I gonna find another one?|Steven Wright
When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year.  I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm six I'll be ninety.|Steven Wright
Set up signposts, make landmarks; set your heart toward the highway . . .|YHWH (Jer 31:21)
How young can you die of old age?|Steven Wright
If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?|Steven Wright
I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.|Steven Wright
If the pen is mightier than the sword, in a duel I'll let you have the pen!|Steven Wright
I was arrested for selling illegal-sized paper.|Steven Wright
After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?|Steven Wright
Having more money does not ensure happiness.  People with 10 million are no happier than people with 9 million dollars.|Hobart Brown
Surrounding yourself with dwarfs does not make you a giant.|Yiddish Proverb
I used to own an ant farm but had to give it up.  I couldn't find tractors small enough to fit it.|Steven Wright
When I was little my grandfather asked me how old I was.  I said, "Five."  He said, "When I was your age, I was six."|Steven Wright
I bought a cheap piece of land...  It was on someone else's property.|Steven Wright
I want to get a tattoo of myself on my entire body, only 2 inches taller.|Steven Wright
Cada loco con su tema  (Each crazy one has his topic!)|Bolivian Saying
Last week the candle factory burned down.  Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.|Steven Wright
Life is like a ten-speed bike. Most of us have gears we never use.|Charles Schultz 
George is a radio announcer, and when he walks under a bridge...  You can't hear him talk.|Steven Wright
I think George is weird, because he has false teeth.  With braces on them. |Steven Wright
The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get to work.|Steven Wright
When I was a little kid we had a sand box.  It was a quicksand box.  I was an only child...  Eventually.|Steven Wright
It is as impossible to separate works from faith as burning and shining from fire|Martin Luther
I went to the eye doctor and found out I needed glasses for reading.  So, I got some flip-up contact lenses.|Steven Wright
It doesn't matter what temperature the room is, it's always room temperature.|Steven Wright
I like to fill my tub up with water, then turn the shower on and act like I'm in a submarine that's been hit.|Steven Wright
But let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows Me . . .|Jer 9:24a
Pretend that every single person you meet has a sign around his or her neck that says, Make Me Feel Important. Not only will you succeed in sales, you will succeed in life.|Mary Kay Ash
My dental hygienist is cute.  Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby.  Sometimes she has to cancel the rest of the afternoon's appointments.|Steven Wright
Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but, "you have to put your two cents in?"  Somebody's making a penny.|Steven Wright
I like candy canes; they're my favorite candy.  But I only like the white part.|Steven Wright
The sun got confused about daylight savings time.  It rose twice.  Everything had two shadows.|Steven Wright
Coca-Cola : Within an Arm's Reach of Desire.|1924
He who hath so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove.|Samuel Johnson
You try to make things too complicated but you really don't have to be so smart, you won't learn a thing until you soften your heart.|Keith Green
Coca-Cola : World And Friend|1950
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.|Oliver Wendell Holmes
If you pick up one end of the stick, you pick up the other|
Coca-Cola : Easy To Buy, Easy To Carry, Easy To Keep On Ice|1929
Conceit in weakest bodies strongest works.|Shakespeare
Coca-Cola : You Can Trust It's Quality|1933
Success is on the far side of failure.|IBM Founder T.J. Watson
Coca-Cola Delicious and Refreshing|1893
Things which matter most should never be at the mercy of things which matter least.|Goethe
Coca-Cola Quenches Thirst|1900
Costrophobia|The fear of high prices.
Conference on Schizophrenia.    I've half a mind to attend|
Cooking Rule... If at first you don't suceed, order pizza|
Coca-Cola : The Pause That Refreshes.|1929
Compute to the last digit the value of pi.|Spock to Computer
"Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be..."|
Coca-Cola 50 Million Times a Day|1955
Come on, admit it.  Sometimes you think I'm all right.|Han Solo
Conscience is just the fear of getting caught.|Sheriff Buck
Coca-Cola : Around the Corner from Everywhere.|1923
Conversation breaks up the monopoly of not talkin'.|Popeye
Generality is the enemy of all art.|Stanislavsky
Coke is it!|1981
Come, Watson, come!  The game is afoot.|Sherlock Holmes
I still prefer poverty and mission service to riches and ease.  This is my choice.|David Livingstone
Coca-Cola : 6,000,000 Drinks a day...|1900
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.|Ustinov
Come on.  Let's keep a little optimism here.|Han Solo
If Jesus Christ be God and died for me, then no sacrifice is too great for me to give for Him.|C.T. Studd
Coca-Cola The Year 'Round Drink|1893
Compu'er. COMPU'ER!|Scotty, talking to a mouse.
Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire|
If you love somebody you will have heaven in a tent.|Old Russian Expression
Common sense is in spite of, not as a result of education.|Hugo
Motor cars produced this year will run into millions - no doubt they will.|W.G.P.
Command or filename irrelevant.|DOS of Borg
Coke adds life.|1980
High aims form high characters, and great objects bring out great minds.|Tyron Edwards
Circumstances?  I make circumstances!|Napoleon
It's not making ends meet that's so difficult; it's making the ends hold still.|W.G.P.
City Morgue--you kill 'em, we chill 'em; you stab 'em, we slab 'em!|
If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you'll find you've done it.|P.K. Shaw
Cloning|by Ima Dubble
I will be satisfied when everyone else is.|Penn
Don't let life discourage you; everyone who got to where he is had to begin where he was.|Richard L. Evans
Lawyers are the only persons in whom ignorance of the law is not punished.|Jeremy Bentham
Comedy is tragedy...plus time.|Carol Burnett 
A mother never realises that her children are no longer children.|Holbrook Jackson
Age does not protect you from love.  But love, to some extent, protects you from age.|Jeanne Moreau
Circumstances can force your hand, so think ahead!|Heinlein
Circular logic will only get you dizzy.|
Christianity taught that love is worth more than intelligence.|
A life without dreams is like a garden without flowers.|Gertraude Beese
Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind.|Edmund Gwenn
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.|George Bernard Shaw
I'm no stranger to hard work - more of a nodding acquaintance.|David G. Harris
Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.|Edward de Bono
The man who will not act until he knows all will never act at all.|Jim Elliot 
Expect nothing.  It's the only way to avoid disappointment.|Penn
But what if I'm a figment of my OWN imagination?|
Buy Land Now.  It's Not Being Made Any More.|
CRASH:  Normal termination.|
California raisins murdered: Cereal Killer suspected|
If I had nine hours to cut down a tree, I would spend six hours sharpening my axe!|Abraham Lincoln
When you are scared, the trick is not to rid your stomach of butterflies, but to make them fly in formation.|Unknown 
Amateurs hope.  Professionals work.|Garson Kanin
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.|Dan Marquis
Dont be afraid to go on an occasional wild goose chase.  Thats what wild geese are for.|
The yeild of our life does not depend so much on the number of things we do, but more on the quality of self-giving that we put to each thing.|Paul TOurnier
COMMAND:  A suggestion made to a computer.|
Winning is not a sometime thing; its an all-time thing.  You dont do things right once in a while, you do them right all the time.  Winning is a habit.  Unfortunately, so is losing.|Vince Lombardi
Blessed are the pessimists, they make backups!|
Bungee Jumper? Catch you on the rebound.|
Bore: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.|
Bombs don't kill people, explosions kill people.|
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.|English Proverb
Bo Peep did it for the insurance.|
Use what talent you posses. The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.|Henry Van Dyke
Black Holes are Out of Sight|
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.|Steven Wright
Bald: follicularly challenged.|
You become successful the moment you start moving toward a worthwhile goal.|Zig Ziglar
Atheist = Deity Disadvantaged.|
As a matter of fact, no, I don't have a life.|
Any wire cut to length will be too short.|
Building Contractors, not to be confused with homemakers|
What matters is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog.|Coach Bear Bryant
Bus error (Passengers dumped)|
Bureaucrats cut red tape, lengthwise|
Whoever said, "Its not whether you win or lose that counts", probably lost.|Martina Navratilova
Bumper sticker on a hearse:  I'd rather be breathing|
Work is the price you pay for money.|
Yesterday I parked my car in a tow-away zone...when I came back the entire area was missing...|Steven Wright
I spilled spot remover on my dog and now he's gone.|Steven Wright
Breathing may be hazardous to your health.|
Brain: The apparatus with which we think that we think.|
The secret source of humour itself is not joy, but sorrow. There is no humour in heaven.|Mark Twain
Computer: a million morons working at the speed of light.|
What's in a name?  That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet.|William Shakespeare
Condense soup, not books!|
Computers run on faith, not electrons.|
He was a man, take him for all in all, I shall not look upon his like again.|William Shakespeare
Computers are useless; they can only give answers.|
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times|Charles Dickens
Take Nothing but Pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time.|Motto of the Baltimore Grotto
He who has never hoped can never despair.|George Bernard Shaw
DIODE: What happens to people who don't die young.|
DILATE: To live longer.|
DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia.|
Crime wouldn't pay if the Government ran it.|
Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?|
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?|
DEFINE: De ting you get for breaking de law.|
Computers All Wait at the Same Speed!|
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.|Thomas Edison
The breakfast of champions is not cereal, its the opposition.|Nick Seitz
Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.|
I have a simple philosophy.  Fill whats empty.  Empty whats full.  Scratch where it itches.|Alice Roosevelt Longworth
"When I was a child... We had a quick-sand box in the backyard......  I was an only child........  eventually....."|Steven Wright
Card-carrying member of the cultural elite.|
Can you repeat the part after "Listen very carefully"?|
My father sought the Truth and died without finding it.  Oh, why did you not come sooner?|Mr. Ni to J Hudson Taylor
Cocaine isn't what it is cracked up to be.|
Computational Physicist and all around nice guy.|
The strongest reason for the people to  retain  the  right  to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to  protect themselves against tyranny in government.|Thomas Jefferson
Competence always contains the seeds of incompetence.|
Common sense isn't...|
The greatest right in the world is the right to be wrong.|William Randolf Hearst
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.|Arthur Conan Doyle
Clones are people two.|
The man who is waiting for something to turn up might start on his shirt sleeves.|Garth Heinrichs
Climate is what you expect.  Weather is what you get.|
The doors of opportunity are marked push.|
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population.|
A bird in the hand can be messy.|
668|Neighbor of the Beast
I have just to roll the burden on the Lord|J Hudson Taylor
A camel is a horse planned by committee.|
...His resources are mine-for He is mine, and is with me and dwells in me.|J Hudson Taylor
43% of all statistics are worthless.|
My friend has a baby.  I'm writing down all the noises he makes so later I can ask him what he meant.|Steven Wright
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier, they wouldn't have to go so fast.|Steven Wright
2 + 2 = 5 (for sufficiently large values of 2)|
The world has yet to see what God can do with and for and through and in a man who is fully and wholly consecrated to Him.|Henry Varley
The first step which follows Christ's call cuts the disciple off from his previous existence.  The call to follow at once produces a new situation.  To stay in the old situation makes discipleship impossible.|Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Captain, I protest!  I am NOT a merry man!|Worf
2 + 2 = 4 (for the time being).|
Flesh and heart often fail:  let them fail!  He faileth not.|J Hudson Taylor
1st rule of intelligent tinkering - save all the parts|
Any closet is a walk-in closet if you try hard enough.|
A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.|
The superior man acts before speaking and speaks according to his action.|Confucius
A fool must now and then be right by chance.|
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.|
A bird in the hand makes it hard to blow your nose.|
I bought some used paint.  It was in the shape of a house.|Steven Wright
A cynic smells flowers and looks for the casket.|
All perfection in this life has some imperfection bound up with it; and no knowledge of ours is without some darkness.|Thomas a Kempis
I've writing a book.  I've got the page numbers done.|Steven Wright
A closed mouth gathers no feet.|
A good man does not argue; he who argues is not a good man . . . the Way of the Sage is to act but not to compete.|Tao Te Ching
A closed mind gathers no intelligence|
A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.|
...so even as grains of sand we have a place and a purpose.  Do you see?  We just got to be kind to one another and keep going.|Dean R. Koontz
You know how it is when you're walking up the stairs, and you get to the top, and you think there's one more step?  I'm like that all the time.|Steven Wright
We are born into danger; we leave it only when we die.|Harry Harrison
You can't have everything...Where would you put it?|Steven Wright
When you cease to dream you cease to live.|Malcolm S. Forbes
Ever notice how irons have a setting for PERMANENT press?  I don't get it...|Steven Wright
The CYCLE OF MEDIOCRITY: I cant, because he didnt, because she doesnt, because we wont, because they never...|Karl Albrecht
A verbal contract isnt worth the paper its written on.|Samuel Goldwyn
We hear half of what is said, listen to half of what we hear, understand half of it, believe half of it and remember half of that.|Anonymous
Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.|Victor Borge
1 Minute Shut Mouth Worth 1 Hour Explanation|
(c) Copywight 1992 Elmer Fudd.  All wights wesewved.|
Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened.|Matthew 7:7
(D)inner not ready:  (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza|
The other day, I was walking my dog around my building--on the ledge....Some people are afraid of heights.  Not me.  I'm afraid of widths.|Steven Wright
I went fishing with a dotted line...I caught every other fish.|Steven Wright
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend this never happened...|
I have a dream today.|Martin Luther King
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it...|Steven Wright
An Elephant;  A Mouse built to government specifications.|
A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.|
An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts.|
Winny would spend all of his time practicing limbo...  He got pretty good... He could go under a rug...|Steven Wright
He was a multi-millionaire... Wanna know how he made all of his money? ... He designed the little diagrams that tell which way to put batteries in...|Steven Wright
Amusement is the happiness of those who cannot think.|
An unemployed court jester is no one's fool.|
All you need to be a fisherman is patience and bait.|
And tomorrow will be like today, only more so.|
And now for something completely the same...|
When I'm writing, I'm writing against the channel selector . . .I know that if I bore them, they'll change channels and set the book down|Bill Myers
And now for something completely else...|
And it's only ones and zeros.|
A penny saved is a Governmental oversight.|
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.|
A neat desk is a sign of a sick mind.|
I just bought a microwave fireplace... You can spend an evening in front of it in only eight minutes...|Steven Wright
Truth is to be sought for in the Holy Scriptures, not eloquence.|Thomas a Kempis
I've got some powdered water, but I don't know what to add.|Steven Wright
A half moon is better than no moon at all.|
I used to work at a factory where they made hydrants; but you couldn't park anywhere near the place.|Steven Wright
All that glitters has a high refractive index.|
Alex Haley was adopted!|
Don't you hate when your hand falls asleep and you know it will be up all night.|Steven Wright
I installed a skylight in my apartment....  The people who live above me are furious!|Steven Wright
A pessimist is never disappointed.|
Help stamp out, eliminate, and abolish redundancy!|
I never notice what has been done.  I only see what remains to be done.|Madame Curie
No matter how thin you slice it, it's still baloney.|
Man stand for long time with mouth open before roast duck fly in.|Chinese Proverb
Make no little plans.  They have no magic to stir mens blood...make big plans, aim high in hope and work.|Daniel H Burnham
You cant turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again.|Bonnie Prudden
If not you, then who?  If not now, when?|Hilel
I was born by Caesarean section, but you really can't tell...except that when I leave my house, I always go out the window...|Steven Wright
I put contact lenses in my dog's eyes.  They had little pictures of cats on them.  Then I took one out and he ran around in circles.|Steven Wright
In acceptance lieth peace.|Amy Carmichael
In my house, on the ceilings I have paintings of the rooms above...so I never have to go upstairs.|Steven Wright
I went to a general store, but they wouldn't let me buy anything specific.|Steven Wright
I was pulled over for speeding today. The officer said, "Don't you know the speed limit is 55 miles an hour?" I replied, "Yes, but I wasn't going to be out that long.|Steven Wright
I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights.  Now it looks like I'm the only one moving.|Steven Wright
I've looked in the mirror every day for 20 years. It's the same face.|Claudia Schiffer
As scarce as the truth is, the supply is much greater than the demand.|
The worst thing about ignorance is its insistency.|
An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.|
The universe is simple - it's the explanation that's complex.|
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile hoping it will eat him last.|Winston Churchill 
Let us not be too particular; it is better to have old secondhand diamonds than none at all.|Mark Twain
For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of our tasks;  the ultimate, the last test and proof; the work for which all other work is but preparation|Rainer Maria Rilke
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next.  The radical invents the views.  When he has worn them out, the conservative adopts them.|Mark Twain
The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them.|Mark Twain
It is not best that we should all think alike; it is differences of opinion that make horse races.|Mark Twain
Why is it that people rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we are not the people involved.|Mark Twain
When people do not respect us we are sharply offended; yet deep down in his private heart no man much respects himself.|Mark Twain
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.|Mark Twain
Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. |Mark Twain
Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising.|Mark Twain
A good lie will have travled half way around the world while the truth is putting on her boots.|Mark Twain
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.|Mark Twain
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.|Mark Twain
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.|Mark Twain
The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenge.|Martin Luther King Jnr
Let us endeavour to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.|Mark Twain
The miracle, or the power, that elevates the few is to be found in their industry, application, and perseverance under the prompting of a brave, determined spirit.|Mark Twain
Music is a higher revelation than philosophy.|Ludwig van Beethoven
I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.|Martin Luther King Jnr
The quality, not the longevity, of one's life is what is important.|Martin Luther King Jnr
When you are right, you cannot be too radical; When you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.|Martin Luther King Jnr
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.|Martin Luther King Jnr
The time is always right to do what is right.|Martin Luther King Jnr
Science is for those who learn; poetry, for those who know.|Joseph Roux
To love a thing means wanting it to live. |Confucius 
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.|Mark Twain
To live is like to love-all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it.|Samuel Butler
It is better to deserve honours and not have them than to have them and not to deserve them.|Mark Twain
We fly to beauty as an asylum from the terrors of finite nature.|Emerson
The difference between the right word and a similar word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.|Mark Twain
Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.|Mark Twain
One man alone can be pretty dumb sometimes, but for real bona fide stupidity there ain't nothing can beat teamwork.|Mark Twain
I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again.|Mark Twain
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.|Mark Twain
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.|Mark Twain
Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.|Mark Twain
Be careful of reading health books, you might die of a misprint.|Mark Twain
Whenever a man desires something inordinately, he is immediately disquieted within himself.|Thomas a Kempis
 A man without a goal will go one mile down 100 paths. A man with a goal will go 100 miles down one road.
... all the modern inconveniences ...|Mark Twain
... A solemn, unsmiling, sanctimonious old iceberg who looked like he was waiting for a vacancy in the Trinity.|Mark Twain
History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot.|Mark Twain
Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side?  And hain't that a big enough majority in any town?|Mark Twain
The jury system puts a ban upon intelligence and honesty and a premium upon ignorance, stupidity and perjury.|Mark Twain
If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.|Mark Twain
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.|Mark Twain
All of us are homesick for Eden|Ken Cowie
How sour sweet music is when time is broke and no proportion kept!  So is it in the music of men's lives.|William Shakespeare
This music crept by me upon the waters, allaying both their fury, and my passion, with its sweet air.|William Shakespeare
The course of true love never did run smooth.|William Shakespeare
'Tis in my memory lock'd, And you yourself shall keep the key of it.|William Shakespeare
Good Night, Good night!  Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.|William Shakespeare
This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.|William Shakespeare
Ah, that death would annihilate it, it would be infinitely preferable to the world as it is. Ah, but there lies the rub!|William Shakespeare
If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.|Marcus Aurelius
The dream is now!|Mark Sorell
We know what we are, but not what we may be.|William Shakespeare
Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress.  But I repeat myself.|Mark Twain
The palest ink is better than the best memory.|Chinese Proverb
Satan will always find you something to do, when you ought to be occupied [in Bible study], if it is only arranging a window blind.|J Hudson Taylor
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.|Mark Twain
Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.|Mark Twain
When in doubt, tell the truth.|Mark Twain
The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.|Mark Twain
When you cannot get a compliment any other way, pay yourself one.|Mark Twain
The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.|Mark Twain
Be careless in your dress if you must, but keep a tidy soul.|Mark Twain
Put all your eggs in the one basket and - WATCH THAT BASKET.|Mark Twain
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.|Mark Twain
I am opposed to millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.|Mark Twain
Better be ill spoken of by one before all than by all before one.|Scottish Proverb
Seize opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.|Bulgarian Proverb
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.|Mark Twain
A full cup must be carried steadily.|English Proverb
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.|Mark Twain
Well begun is half done.|Proverb quoted by Aristotle
The surest protection against temptation is cowardice.|Mark Twain
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.|Mark Twain
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.|Mark Twain
The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.|Mark Twain
It is by the fortune of God that, in this country, we have three benefits: freedom of speech, freedom of thought, and the wisdom never to use either.|Mark Twain
In a museum in Havana, there are two skulls of Christopher Columbus, "one when he was a boy and one when he was a man."|Mark Twain
To do easily what others find difficult is the mark of talent; to do what is impossible for talent is the mark of genius.|Henri-Frederic Amiel
We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.|Aesop
We make war that we may live in peace.|Aristotle
All virtue is summed up in dealing justly.|Aristotle
Men often bear little grievances with less courage than they do large misfortunes.|Aesop
One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who only have interest.|John Stuart Mill 
The man who insists on seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides.|Henri-Frederic Amiel
Life is short and we have never too much time for gladdening the hearts of those who are travelling the dark journey with us. Oh be swift to love, make haste to be kind.|Henri-Frederic Amiel
Wit is cultured insolence.|Aristotle
To know how to suggest is the art of teaching.|Henri-Frederic Amiel
Have a Coke and a smile|Coke June 13 1979
Go|God (Isa 6:9)
It is not the horse that draws the cart, but the oats.|Russian Proverb
It is well to be up before daybreak, for such habits contribute to health, wealth, and wisdom.|Aristotle
Analysis kills spontaneity.|Henri-Frederic Amiel
The reason so many people never get anywhere in life is because when opportunity knocks, they are out in the backyard looking for four-leaf clovers.|Walter Percy Chrysler
To live we must conquer incessantly, we must have the courage to be happy.|Henri-Frederic Amiel
Woman is the salvation or the destruction of the family. She carries its destiny in the folds of her mantle.|Henri-Frederic Amiel
Without passion man is a mere latent force and possibility, like the flint which awaits the shock of the iron before it can give forth its spark.|Henri-Frederic Amiel
The man who has no imagination has no wings.|Muhammed Ali
We sin when we try to meet a legitimate need but do it illegitimatly.|Jim Eschenbrenner
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.|Muhammed Ali
Wealth unused might as well not exist.|Aesop
One who condones evil is just as guilty as the one who perpetrates it.|Martin Luther King Jnr
Truth is not only violated by falsehood; it may be outraged by silence.|Henri-Frederic Amiel
There was never a genius without a tincture of madness.|Aristotle
The art of living is more like that of wrestling than of dancing; the main thing is to stand firm and be ready for an unseen attack.|Marcus Aurelius
Everyone is kneaded out of the same dough but not baked in the same oven.|Yiddish Proverb
If it is not right do not do it; if it is not true do not say it.|Marcus Aurelius
Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart.|Marcus Aurelius
And thou wilt give thyself relief, if thou doest every act of thy life as if it were the last|Marcus Aurelius
It's the real thing|Coke 1969
Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.|Aristotle
No one loves the man whom he fears.|Aristotle
It is better for a city to be governed by a good man than by good laws.|Aristotle
"To the query, "What is a friend?" his reply was "A single soul dwelling in two bodies."|Aristotle
He who hath many friends hath none.|Aristotle
Be content with your lot; one cannot be first in everything.|Aesop
No excellent soul is exempt from a mixture of madness.|Aristotle
Well, I pledge my head to heaven for the gospel, and I ask no man on earth to fill my needs.  Like the sparrow up above I am enveloped in His love, and I trust Him like those little ones He feeds.|Keith Green
It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.|Aristotle
Moral excellence comes about as a result of habit. We become just by doing just acts, temperate by doing temperate acts, brave by doing brave acts.|Aristotle
Change in all things is sweet.|Aristotle
Wicked men obey from fear; good men, from love.|Aristotle
To change and to change for the better are two different things.|German Proverb
Mundus vult decipi|The world wants to be decieved
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.|Aristotle
I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.|Aristotle
He who has never learned to obey cannot be a good commander.|Aristotle
In the arena of human life the honours and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities in action.|Aristotle
All human actions have one or more of these seven causes:  chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, desire.|Aristotle
All who have meditated on the art of governing mankind have been convinced that the fate of empires depends on the education of youth.|Aristotle
Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind;  And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.|William Shakespeare
Each moment of a happy lover's hour is worth an age of dull and common life.|Aphra Behn
Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own.|Aesop
Without love, the world itself would not survive.|Lope de Vega
Beauty in not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart.|Kahlil Gibran
Harmony is pure love, for love is a concerto.|Lope de Vega
Beloved, all that is harsh and difficult I want for myself, and all that is gentle and sweet for thee.|San Juan de la Cruz
To love is not to look at one another, but to look together in the same direction|Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey|Lord Byron 
It is a kind of good deed to say well; and yet words are not deeds.|William Shakespeare
A man too busy to take care of his health is like a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.|Spanish Proverb
La coeur a ses raisons que la raison ne connait point.    The heart has it's reasons, whereof reason knows nothing.|Pascal
We are shaped and fashioned by what we love|Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Love, you are eternal like springtime.|Juan Ramon Jiminez
To love is to receive a glimpse of heaven.|Karen Sunde
It is love alone that gives worth to all things.|Santa Teresa de Jesus
Love is something eternal; the aspect may change, but not the essence.|Vincent Van Gough
Where there is love there is life|Mahatma Gandhi
Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.|Henry Ward Beecher
The supreme happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved|Victor Hugo
She fights and vanquishes in me, and I live and breathe in her, and I have life and being.|Migeul de Cervantes
Let no one who loves be unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow|James Mathhew Barrie
Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.|Aristotle
Where we love is home, home that our feet may leave, but not our  hearts.|Oliver Wendell Holmes
You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her|Unknown
If I know what love is, it is because of you.|Herman Hesse
A crust eaten in peace is better than a banquet partaken in anxiety.|Aesop
Never trust the advice of a man in difficulties.|Aesop
The love of beauty in it's multiple forms is the noblest gift of the human cerebrum.|Alexis Carrel
I could do without many things with no hardship--you are not one of them.|Ashleigh Brilliant
I think we dream so we dont have to be apart so long.  If we're in each others dreams, we can be together all the time.|Hobbes
If a thing loves, it is infinite.|William Blake
Proportion your expenses to what you have, not what you expect.|Enlish Proverb
Pains of love be sweeter far.  Than all other pleasures are. |Jon Dryden
Love is, above all, the gift of oneself.|Jean Anouilh
In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing. |Mignon McLaughlin
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.|Robert Heinlein
Love and you will be loved, and you will be able to do all that you could not do unloved.|Marques de Santillana 
Take away love, and our earth is a tomb |Robert Browning 
There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.|George Sands
A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.|Latin Proverb
The soul that can speak through the eyes, can also kiss with a gaze.|Gustavo Adolfo Becquer
We are each of us angels with only one wing, and we can only fly embracing each other.|Liciano De Crescenzo
A part of you has grown in me. And so you see, it's you and me together forever and never apart, maybe in distance, but never in heart.|unknown
Who travels for love finds a thousand miles not longer than one.|Japanese Proverb.
The reduction of the universe to a single being,the expansion of a single being even to G-d, this is love.|Victor Hugo
The waters are rising, but so am I.  I am not going under but over.  Do not be concerned about dying; go on living well, the dying will be right.|Last words of Catherine Booth, 1890
I believe that if i should die, and you were to walk near my grave, from the very depths of the earth i would hear your footsteps.|Benito Perez Galdos
In time we hate that which we often fear.|William Shakespeare
Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything.|William Shakespeare
Strong reasons make strong actions.|William Shakespeare
Each present joy or sorrow seems the chief.|William Shakespeare
My words fly up, my thoughts remain below. Words without thoughts never to heaven go.|William Shakespeare
Those that are good manners at the court are as ridiculous in the country, as the behavior of the country is most mockable at the court.|William Shakespeare
It is the mind that makes the body rich; and as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds, so honor peereth in the meanest habit.|William Shakespeare
False face must hide what the false heart doth know.|William Shakespeare
There is a history in all men's lives.|William Shakespeare
He is not great who is not greatly good.|William Shakespeare
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt.|William Shakespeare
Oft expectation fails, and most oft where most it promises; and oft it hits where hope is coldest; and despair most sits.|William Shakespeare
Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.|William Shakespeare
Doubt thou the stars are fine. Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth be a liar. But never doubt I love.|William Shakespeare
Reputation, reputation, reputation! Oh, I have lost my reputation! I have lost the immortal part of myself, and what remains is bestial.|William Shakespeare
What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet|William Shakespeare
Maturity: Doing what you're supposed to do when you're supposed to do it regardless of how you feel.
If we don't change our direction we're likely to end up where we're headed.|Chinese Proverb
Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous, there shall be no more cakes and ale?|William Shakespeare
O monstrous world! Take note, take note, o world,To be direct and honest is not safe!|William Shakespeare
Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind; the thief doth fear each bush an officer.|William Shakespeare
History is something that never happened told by someone who wasn't there. |Gomez de la Serna, Greguerias 
Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened. |Winston Churchill 
It is my firm belief that people should not hold firm beliefs. |Malaclypse the younger. 
Death to all fanatics! |Malaclypse the younger. 
Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation.|W.V.O. Quine 
There is no shame in not knowing; the shame lies in not finding out.|Russian Proverb
Experience is a hard teacher. She gives the test first and the lessons afterwards. |
I hope life isn't one big joke, because I don't get it.|Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy
Perro que no camina, no encuentra hueso. (The dog that doesn't walk doesn't find a bone.)|Spanish saying
A good rest is half the work.|Yugoslav Proverb
The party of the first part shall be known in this contract as the party of the first part.|Groucho Marx
My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure. |Ashleigh Brilliant
Arbol que crece torcido, jams su tronco endereza (If a tree grows crooked, its trunk will never get straight)|Mexican Proverb
Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. |Groucho Marx
More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. |Woody Allen
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. |Douglas Adams
Dime con quin andas y te dir quin eres. (Tell me with whom you walk and I will tell you who you are.)|Spanish Saying
There was a point to this narrative, but it has presently escaped the chronicler's mind. |Douglas Adams
Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. |Douglas Adams
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. |Douglas Adams
Caution: cape does not enable user to fly|instructions on a Batman costume
Open seven days a week, excluding Sundays!|sign on a Kentucky Fried Chicken store
Please provide the date of your death.|IRS letter sent to a dead man
Was it you or your brother who was killed in the war?|Rev. William Spooner
Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.|Napoleon Hill
...close the hatch. Careful not to lock it on the way out. |Buzz Aldrin, Apollo XI 
We have deep depth. |Yogi Berra
Statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital. |Aaron Levenstein 
There are three things which if one does not know, one cannot live long in the world: what is too much for one, what is too little for one, and what is just right for one.|Swahili Proverb
Between saying and doing many a pair of shoes is worn out.|Italian Proverb
49% of all statistics are wrong. |Statistics Canada 1985 
If people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them.|Yogi Berra
Anyone who attempts to generate random numbers by deterministic means is, of course, living in a state of sin. |John von Neumann
We made too many wrong mistakes. |Yogi Berra
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. |Thomas Edison 
Reality is the leading cause of stress among those in touch with it.|Lily Tomlin 
Nothing is like it seems, but everything is exactly like it is. |Yogi Berra
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is. |Yogi Berra
That place is so crowded no one ever goes there anymore. |Yogi Berra
95% of this game is half mental. |Yogi Berra
To keep milk from turning sour: Keep it in the cow.|
You can observe a lot by just watching. |Yogi Berra
I've tried all season to put my thumb on it, but perhaps the problem is bigger than my thumb. |Reyna Thompson 
If rich people could hire other people to die for them, the poor could make a wonderful living.|Yiddish Proverb
There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. |Clint Eastwood
An inch of time cannot be bought with an inch of gold.|Chinese Proverb
If I ever needed a brain transplant, I'd choose a sportswriter's because I'd want a brain that had never been used. |Norm Van Brocklin 
Our blend of youth and experience worked well. The exerienced players stood around watching the youngsters do all the work. |Graham Gooch 
Life's too short for chess. |H.J. Byron 
If you are patient in one moment of anger, you will escape a hundred days of sorrow.|Chinese Proverb
If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup.|Turkish Proverb
All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height. |Casey Stengel 
2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for large values of 2. |Grabel's Law 
Whenever I have to decide between two evils, I always choose the one I haven't tried before. |Mae West 
If you meet the Buddha in the lane, feed him the ball. |Phil Jackson 
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. |Niels Bohr
Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think. |Niels Bohr 
The intellegence of the planet is constant, and the population is growing. |Arthur C. Clarke 
The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage.|Mark Russell 
If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders. |Hal Abelson 
If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants. |Isaac Newton 
Please don't ask me what the score is, I'm not even sure what the game is. |Ashleigh Brilliant 
If you tell a joke in the forest and nobody laughs, was it a joke? |
The following statement is true. The proceeding statement is false. |
I am an Insomniac, agnostic, Egotist: I lie awake nights wondering whether I believe that I am as great as I think I am. |
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup. |
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. |
A metaphor is like a simile.|
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. |
Some men's sins are clearly evident, preceding them to judgment, but those of some men follow later.|Paul of Tarsus
Time is what keeps everything from happening at once. |
If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker, You're In Range |
Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. (Anything said in Latin sounds profound.) |
All the parts falling off this car are of the very finest British manufacture |
Eat right. Exercise. Die Anyway.|
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... |last words of Gen. John Sedgwick 
They drive so crazy in Chicago that anything moving slower than 65mph is considered a house. |J. Joshua 
If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?' |John Cleese 
The wallpaper and I are having a duel to the death. One of us will have to go. |Oscar Wilde 
After all, all he did was string together a lot of old, well-known quotations. |H. L. Mencken, on Shakespeare 
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. |Fred Allen 
A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without getting nervous. |
The optimist thinks this is the best of all possible worlds. The pessimist fears it is true. |Robert Oppenheimer 
Try to relax and enjoy the crisis. |Ashleigh Brilliant 
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. |Will Rogers 
My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going to be scared. |P.J. Plauger 
The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity. |Harlan Ellison 
There's no fool like an old fool --- you can't beat experience. |Jacob Braude 
There are three types of people in this world: those who can count, and those who cannot. |Carl G. Hostnik 
When you fool a fool you strike a blow for intelligence. |Giacomo de Seingalt 
$665.95|Retail price of the Beast 
Lotus 6-6-6|Spreadsheet of the Beast 
i66686|CPU of the Beast 
A wife is a knife that cuts the life.  But there is no life without a wife.|Indian Proverb
Do not rejoice in what you have done for God, rejoice in what God has done for you!|Nelson Bezanson on Luke 10:20
1010011010|Binary of the Beast 
It takes two thumbs to squash a louse.|African Proverb
666.0000|Number of the High Precision Beast 
DCLXVI|Roman numeral of the Beast 
664|Number of the Beast's next-door neighbor 
Route 666|Highway of the Beast 
666i|BMW of the Beast 
The mother of success is failure.|Korean Proverb
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.|Decca Rec. rejects Beatles 1962
$699.25|Price of the Beast plus 5% sales tax 
If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail. |Maslow
If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of. |Maier's Law 
There can be no friendship without confidence, and no confidence without integrity.|Samuel Johnson
If it jams -- force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. |Lowery's Law 
It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account. |Hofstadter's Law 
Complex problems have simple, easy-to-undersatand, wrong answers. |Grossman's Law 
Celibacy is not hereditary. |First Law of Socio-Genetics 
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. |Franklin P. Jones 
Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. |Wendell Johnson 
Good decisions come from experience. Experience comes from making bad decisions.|Mark Twain
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.|Woody Allen
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window.|Steve Bluestone
It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.|Woody Allen
Don't procrastinate, put something off today.|
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.|
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the morning?|
Why are they called apartments when they are so close together?|
It's not hard to tell we was poor -- when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline.|George Lindsey
Expect great things from God, attempt great things for God|William Carey, May 31 1792
Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.|Johnny Carson
Attention to health is life's greatest hindrance.|Plato
When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.|Ernest Hemingway
Never mistake motion for action.|Ernest Hemingway
Ernest Hemingway, when asked what was the most frightening thing he ever encountered, answered:  "A blank sheet of paper."|
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!|
When it comes time to die ... make sure all you gotta do is die.|
One friend in a lifetime is much; two are many; three are hardly possible.|Henry Brooks Adams
Bodily exercise, when compulsory, does no harm to the body; but knowledge which is acquired under compulsion obtains no hold on the mind.|Plato
No man means all he says, and yet very few say all they mean, for words are slippery and thought is viscous.|Henry Brooks Adams
A army's effectiveness depends on its size, training, experience and morale, and morale is worth more than all the other factors combined.|Napoleon Bonaparte
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.|Napoleon Bonaparte
Men take only their needs into consideration - never their abilities.|Napoleon Bonaparte
God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace His hand, we must trust His heart.|Charles Spurgeon 
One pound of learning requires ten pounds of common sense to apply it.|Persian Proverb
The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.|Napoleon Bonaparte
He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.|Napoleon Bonaparte
History is a lie agreed upon.|Napoleon Bonaparte
Friends applaud, the Comedy is over|Beethoven's last words
Music is the mediator between the spiritual and the sensual life.|Ludwig van Beethoven
Never shall I forget the days I spent with you.  Continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours|Ludwig van Beethoven
The price of apathy towards public affairs is to be ruled by evil men.|Plato
They have millions of money and millions of obedient soldiers; we have only one thing, but that is the most powerful thing in the world - Truth.|Leo Tolstoy
We must say that by whatever name people may call murder - murder always remains murder and a criminal and shameful thing.|Leo Tolstoy
Ivan Ilych's life was most simple, and most ordinary, and therefore most terrible.|Leo Tolstoy
Without knowing why I am and why I am here, life is impossible.|Leo Tolstoy
All happy families resemble one another; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own fashion.|Leo Tolstoy
At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.|Plato
Fear of death increases in exact proportion to increase in wealth.|Ernest Hemingway
The passionate are like men standing on their heads; they see all things the wrong way.|Plato
The life that is unexamined is not worth living.|Plato
Thinking is the talking of the soul with itself.|Plato
The greatest missionary is the Bible in the Mother tongue.  It never needs a furlough, is never considered a foreigner.|Wm. Cameron Townsend
As empty vessels make the loudest sound, so they that have least with are the greatest babblers.|Plato
Poetry comes nearer to vital truth than history.|Plato
I exhort you also to take part in the great combat, which is the combat of life, and greater than every other earthly combat.|Plato
We are twice armed if we fight with faith.|Plato
And what is good, Phaedrus? And what is not good?  Need we ask anyone to tell us these things?|Plato
They certainly give very strange names to diseases.|Plato
Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable.|Plato
Missed it by that much.|Maxwell Smart
What a poor appearance the tales of poets make when stripped of the colours which music puts upon them, and recited in simple prose.|Plato
The beginning is the most important part of the work.|Plato
What you love you serve.|James Cottrill
Know what I hate most? Rhetorical questions.|Henry N. Camp
They deem him their worst enemy who tells them the truth.|Plato
ELECELLERATION (el a cel er ay' shun) n. The mistaken notion that the more you press an elevator button the faster the elevator will arrive. |
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.|Albert Einstein
ELBONICS (el bon' iks) n. The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in a movie theater. |
We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.|Aristotle
EIFFELITES (eye' ful eyetz) n. Gangly people sitting in front of you at the movies who, no matter what direction you lean in, follow suit. |
The short way takes longer.|Japanese Proverb
DISCONFECT (dis kon fekt') v. To sterilize the piece of candy you dropped on the floor by blowing on it, somehow assuming this will `remove' all the germs. |
BURGACIDE (burg' uh side) n. When a hamburger can't take any more torture and hurls itself through the grill into the coals. |
PHONESIA (fo nee' zhuh) n. The affliction of dialing a phone number and forgetting whom you were calling  just as they answer. |
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind|Ghandi
To be thoroughly conversant with a Man's heart, is to take our final lesson in the iron-clasped volume of despair.|Edgar Allen Poe
Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night.|Edgar Allen Poe
I have great faith in fools; My friends call it self-confidence.|Edgar Allen Poe
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?|
AQUADEXTROUS (ak wa deks' trus) adj. Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes. |
Agree with your adversary quickly.|Jesus (Mt 5:25)
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.|Eleanor Roosevelt 
If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly. |
LACTOMANGULATION (lak' to man gyu lay' shun) n. Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk container so badly that one has to resort to the `illegal' side. |
The first rule of magic is simple. Don't waste your time waving your hands and hoping when a rock or a club will do.|McCloctnik the Lucid 
The Sixth Commandment of Frisbee:  The greatest single aid to distance is for the disc to be going in a direction you did not want. (Goes the wrong way =Goes a long way.)|Dan Roddick 
If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.|Lyndon Baines Johnson 
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.|Bill Watterson
In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.|Douglas Adams
I'm astounded by people who want to `know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.|Woody Allen
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.|Albert Einstein
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes.|
Libraries: There are no answers, only cross references.|
Make like a Tom and Cruise.|
It's life Jim, but not as we know it.|
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.|Jesus (Mt 6:21)
To err is human. To moo bovine|
No sense being pessimistic.  It wouldn't work anyway.|
No matter where you go, there you are.|
Oxymoron: Soviet Union.|
Life is comlicated.  It's that simple.|J.Cottrill
Aw Mom, you act like I'm not even wearing a bungee cord!|Calvin
Baldric, you have the intellectual capacity of a dirty potato.|Blackadder
One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them; One ring to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them.|Tolkein, The Lord of the Rings
Baldric, why do you have a piece of cheese tied to your nose?|Blackadder
As if you could kill time without injuring eternity.|H.D. Thoreau
Anyone can make history. Only a great man can write it.|Oscar Wilde
Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.|Publilius Syrus
The rump of the visitor is made to sit upon.|African Proverb
Anyone can afford hate.  It costs you to love.|John Willianson
I really didn't say everything I said!|Yogi Berra
Anybody who builds a house today is crazy.|Cary Grant
Anybody that hates kids and dogs can't be all bad.|WC Fields
Anyone can be elected govenor. I'm proof of that.|Joe Frank Harris
Apathy Error:  Don't bother striking any key.|
Apparently, it's `The Indescision Decade'!!... Wait, that's not it.|
Anything that can go wrong, will.|Murphy's Law
Anyone who needs psychiatry is sick in the head.|Frank Burns
Another car tried to occupy the same spacetime as mine.|
Answer not a fool according to his folly.|Proverbs 26:4
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression.|Douglas
"A talking horse?"  "He's Ed, Jim."|
"Beam me aboard, Mr. Scott."    "Oak or plywood, sir?"|
O let me ne'er forget that though the wrong seems oft so strong, God is the ruler yet|Maltbie D. Babcock
O to grace how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!|Robert Robinson
Better to die a hero than to live a coward.|Wisetongue
Better a known enemy than a forced ally.|Napoleon
Time, like an ever-rolling stream, bears all its sons away|Isaac Watts
Big Brother is watching you.|Orwell
Beware the fury of a patient man.|Dryden
End of faith, as its Beginning, set our hearts at liberty|Charles Wesley
Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible.|Lord Kelvin, 1895
Bite the Wax Tadpole.|Original Coca-Cola Chinese
Is "tired old cliche" one?|Steven Wright
My faith has found a resting place, not in device or creed:  I trust the ever lving one - his wounds for me shall plead.|Lidie H. Edmunds
Yesterday I saw a chicken crossing the road. I asked it why. It told me it was none of my business.|Steven Wright
If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know?|Steven Wright
Cursed is the man who trusts in man|YHWH (Jer 17:5)
Because no matter where you go ... there you are.|Buckaroo Banzai
Beam me up quickly, Scotty.  This is NOT the Mens room!|
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time.  I think Ive forgotten this before.|Steven Wright
Behold, this dreamer cometh.|Genesis 32:19
Behold, the half was not told me.|1 Kings 10:7
To the skinny dog the fleas stick.|Nicaraguan Proverb
Instincts.  Use them, don't be afraid of them.  They will help overcome any computer.|Chris Taylor
Behold, the day! Behold, it has come! DOOM has gone out!|Ez. 7:10
Belief in a cruel God makes a cruel man.|Thomas Paine
The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer. |
AAAAAA - American Association Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous. |
Love is a canvas furnished by Nature and embroidered by imagination.|Voltaire
We never live; we are always in the expectation of living.|Voltaire
It is far better to be silent than merely to increase the quantity of bad books.|Voltaire
A witty saying proves nothing. |Voltaire
Everything that can be invented has been invented.|Charles H. Duell, US Patent Office, 1899
Verses which do not teach men new and moving truths do not deserve to be read.|Voltaire
Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.|Pierre Pachet, Physiology prof. 1872
Love truth, but pardon error.|Voltaire
Worried that you're putting on weight?  Don't be.  Remember, elephants are more popular than snakes.|Fibber McGee
History is little else than a picture of human crimes and misfortunes.|Voltaire
Men use thought only as authority for their injustice, and employ speech only to conceal their thoughts.|Voltaire
Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.|Voltaire
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.|George Washington
Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.|Abraham Lincoln
We ought not to look back unless it is to derive useful lessons from past errors, and for the purpose of profiting by dear-brought experience.|George Washington
Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.|Voltaire
People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be.|Abraham Lincoln
The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.|Bill Watterson
The history of human opinion is scarcely anything more than the history of human errors.|Voltaire
Opinions cannot survive if one has no chance to fight for them.|Thomas Mann
Happiness makes up in height what it lacks in length|Robert Frost
I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.|George Washington
Astronomers say the universe is finite, which is a comforting thought for those people who can't remember where they leave things.|Unknown
We must cultivate our garden.|Voltaire
When brothers fall out, then strangers are apt to take advantage of them.|Chinese Proverb
If the Lord should be pleased to grant us the Conversion of but one soul Heathens, we should think our Voyage sufficiently rewarded.|Ziegenbalg & Plutschau (1700's)
If God created us in his own image, we have more than reciprocated.|Voltaire
There is no blessing for those in a hurry.|Kenyan Proverb
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.|Voltaire
Without philosophy we should be little above animals.|Voltaire
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.|Voltaire
No problem can stand the assault of sustained thinking.|Voltaire
He is a hard man who is only just, and a sad one who is only wise.|Voltaire
We are an impossibility in an impossible universe.|Ray Bradbury
It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.|Vince Lombardi
There is no restraining men's tongues or pens when charged with a little vanity.|George Washington
Catch a man a fish, and you can sell it to him. Teach a man to fish, and you ruin a wonderful business opportunity.|Karl Marx
>From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs.|Karl Marx
I am not a Marxist.|Karl Marx
$100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000, by which time it will be worth nothing.|Lazarus Long
Even after a bad harvest there must be sowing.|Latin Proverb 
Go on, get out.  Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.|last words of Karl Marx to his housekeeper
The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will.|Vince Lombardi
It's better to be silent and thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt.|Abraham Lincoln
Even a hare will insult a dead lion.|Latin Proverb 
A woman is the only thing that I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me.|Abraham Lincoln
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else|Will Rogers
Why, how stupid, stupid I have been!  Missions, why, the New Testament is all missions!|Adoniram Judson (1800's)
He who is not contented with what he has, would not be contented with what he would like to have.|Socrates
Few men have virtue to withstand the highest bidder.|George Washington
It is our duty to make the best of our misfortunes, and not to suffer passion to interfere with our interest and public good |George Washington
The barbed wire feels the gentle breeze, but the fence post is always there.|Brad Rempel
Lady Astor - Why Sir Churchill you are drunk!  Churchill - And you are ugly, but I shall be sober in the morning!|
To complete a thing, a hundred years is not sufficient; to destroy, one day is more than enough.|Chinese Proverb
Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?|Socrates' last words
The philosophers have only interpreted the world; the thing, however, is to change it.|Karl Marx
I know I am intelligent, because I know that I know nothing.|Socrates
Associate yourself with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation, for 'tis better to be alone than in bad company. |George Washington
He is richest who is content with the least.|Socrates
If a man is proud of his wealth, he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.|Socrates
What you cannot enforce, do not command.|Socrates
I was really too honest a man to be a politician and live.|Socrates
Let him that would move the world first move himself.|Socrates
If all our misfortunes were laid in one common heap, whence everyone must take an equal portion, most people would be content to take their own and depart.|Socrates
(A)bort, (R)etry, (P)retend it didn't happen.|
Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.|Coco Chanel
We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything.|Thomas Alva Edison 
In Israel, in order to be a realist you must believe in miracles.|David Ben Gurion
Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.|Franklin Pierce Adams
Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.|Thomas Jefferson
...the citizen who thinks he sees that the commonwealth's political clothes are worn out, and yet holds his peace and does not agitate for a new suit, is disloyal; he is a traitor.|Mark Twain
A crowd is not company, and faces are but a gallery of pictures, and talk but a tinkling cymbal, where there is no love.|Bacon
Laws do not persuade just because they threaten.|Seneca
One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making new discoveries.|A.A. Milne
Coke is it!|Coke Feb 4, 1982
One attraction of Latin is that you can immerse yourself in the poems of Catullus and Horace without fretting over how to say, 'Have a nice day.'|Peter Brodie
He who knows much speaks with silence.|Amharic Proverb
One purpose of a liberal arts education is to make your head a more interesting place to live inside of for the rest of your life.|Mary Pat McPherson
"That was a great speech. Every thinking American will vote for you."  "That's not enough. I need a majority."|anon and Mo Udall
It is best to love wisely, no doubt; but to love foolishly is better than not to be able to love at all.|William Makepeace Thackeray
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?|Abraham Lincoln
Iron rusts from disuse; stagnant water loses its purity and in cold weather becomes frozen; even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.|Leonardo da Vinci
This great nation was founded, not by religionists, but by Christians; not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ!  For this very reason peoples of other faiths have been afforded . . . freedom of worship here.|Patrick Henry
When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.|Alexander Graham Bell
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.|`Tallulah Bankhead
The Lord's Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.|National Review
God is equal to all emergencies.|J Hudson Taylor
One half the world can not understand the pleasures of the other.|Austen
After each war there is a little less democracy to save.|Brooks Atkinson
Blessed are the young, for they will inherit the national debt.|Herbert Hoover
Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate.|John F. Kennedy
You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist.|Indira Ghandi
A government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take from you everything that you have.|Gerald Ford
Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired, signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are cold and not clothed.|Dwight D. Eisenhower
The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.|Charles DeGaulle
It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work to do.|Jerome K. Jerome
When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.|George Washington Carver
Do not condemn the judgement of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong.|Dandemis
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist. |
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear. |
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.|Winston Churchill
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.|Winston Churchill
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.|Winston Churchill
Short words are best and the old words when short are best of all.|Winston Churchill
I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat.|Winston Churchill
Our Lord Jesus Christ desired to perform a very obvious miracle in the voyage to the Indies . . .|Christopher Columbus
The empires of the future are the empires of the mind.|Winston Churchill
Never give in. Never. Never. Never. Never.|Winston Churchill
There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies.|Winston Churchill
I am always willing to learn.  I do not, however, always enjoy being taught.|Winston Churchill
There are two books laid before us to study; first, the volume of the Scriptures, which reveal the will of God; then the volume of the Creatures, which express His power.|Francis Bacon
"Thinking God's thoughts after Him"|Johannes Kepler (1571-1630)
Faith tells us what the senses cannot, but it is not contrary to their findings.  It simply transcends, without contradicting them.|Blaise Pascal (1623-1662)
The greatest lesson in life is to know that even fools are right sometimes.|Winston Churchill
The farther backward you can look, the farther forward you are likely to see.|Winston Churchill
It is the duty of nations as well as of men to own their dependance upon the overruling power of God . . .|Abraham Lincoln
The price of greatness is responsibility.|Winston Churchill
An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile--hoping it will eat him last.|Winston Churchill
Of course, we are all worms--but I like to think, at least, that I am a glowworm.|Winston Churchill
It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly, one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts.|Arthur Conan Doyle
Without tradition, art is a flock of sheep without a sheperd. Without innovation, it is a corpse.|Winston Churchill
That some should be rich, shows that others may become rich, and, hence, is just encouragement to industry and enterprise.|Abraham Lincoln
It is difficult to make a man miserable while he feels he is worthy of himself and claims kindred to the great God who made him.|Abraham Lincoln
How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four.  Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.|Abraham Lincoln
Let us have faith that right makes might; and in that faith let us to the end dare to do our duty as we understand it. |Abraham Lincoln
Whatever you are, be a good one.|Abraham Lincoln
The greatest benefactor this age could have is the man who will bring the teachers and the church back to prayer.|E.M. Bounds
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.|Winston Churchill
They are passing their days on earth, but are citizens of heaven.  They obey the appointed laws, and go beyond the laws in their own lives.|Letter to Diogenes on the early Christians
An iron curtain has descended across the Continent.|Winston Churchill
The devil is always trying to trick us into extremes.|C.S. Lewis
A man is a wolf to a man he does not know.|Plautus, Roman philosopher
You changing the water to wine, gave Your greatest sign by changing lives like mine.|Keith Green
The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries.|Winston Churchill
I cannot forecast to you the action of Russia. It is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.|Winston Churchill
Where does the family start? It starts with a young man falling in love with a girl - no superior alternative has yet been found.|Winston Churchill
Danger - if you meet it promptly and without flinching - you will reduce the danger by half. Never run away from anything. Never!|Winston Churchill
If we open a quarrel between the past and the present, we shall find that we have lost the future.|Winston Churchill
Courage is the first of human qualities because it is the quality that guarantees all the others.|Winston Churchill
I always avoid prophesying beforehand, because it is a much better policy to prophesy after the event has already taken place.|Winston Churchill
The best thing about the future is that it only comes one day at a time. |Abraham Lincoln
A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on.|Carl Sandberg
Atheism is so senseless.  When I look at the solar system, I see the earth at the right distance from the sun to receive the proper amounts of heat and light.  This did not happen by chance.|Isaac Newton
Religion begat prosperity and the daughter hath consumed the mother!|Cotton Mather
Did you ever see an unhappy horse?  Did you ever see bird that had the blues?  One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.|Dale Carnegie
If you cry "forward," you must without fail make plain in what direction to go. |Anton Chekhov
If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done.|Dale Carnegie
The man who goes farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.|Dale Carnegie
Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.|Dale Carnegie
One must be a god to be able to tell successes from failures without making a mistake.|Anton Chekhov
Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage. If you want to conquer fear, do not sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.|Dale Carnegie
In the world there is nothing more submissive and weak than water. Yet for attacking that which is hard and strong nothing can surpass it.|Lao Tzu (believed founder of Taoism
Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all.|Dale Carnegie
When I survey the wondrous cross on which the Prince of glory died, my richest gain I count but loss, and pour contempt on all my pride.|Isaac Watts
The wolf changes his coat but not his nature.|Latin Proverb
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. |Dale Carnegie
If you want to gather honey, don't kick over the beehive.  If only the people who worry about their liabilities would think about the riches they do possess, they would stop worrying. |Dale Carnegie
First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst.|Dale Carnegie
When fate hands us a lemon, let's try to make a lemonade.|Dale Carnegie
Baldric, you wouldn't know a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord, singing 'Subtle Plans Are Here Again.'|Blackadder
Youth is wasted on the wrong people!|from It's A Wonderful Life
Science does not promise absolute truth, nor does it consider that such a thing necessarily exists. Science does not even promise that everything in the universe is amenable to the scientific process.|Isaac Asimov
A fanatic is one who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.|Winston Churchill
I like a man who grins when he fights.|Winston Churchill
A joke is a very serious thing.|Winston Churchill
Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.|Winston Churchill
Any idiot can face a crisis.  It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.|Anton Chekhov
I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.|Winston Churchill
Those who are once found to be bad are presumed to be so forever.|Latin Proverb 
The person who says it cannot be done should not interrupt the person doing it.|Chinese Proverb
It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations. |Winston Churchill
There are no grades of vanity, there are only grades of ability in concealing it.|Mark Twain
It is often easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.|Adlai Stevenson
Everyone is a prisoner of his own experiences.  No one can eliminate prejudices - just recognize them.|Edward R. Murrow
Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.|Winston Churchill
In war: resolution.  In defeat: defiance.  In victory: magnanimity.  In peace: goodwill.|Winston Churchill
Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace and those who could make a good peace would never have won the war.|Winston Churchill
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.|G.K. Chesterton
The object of opening the mind as of opening the mouth is to close it again on something solid|G.K. Chesterton
I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.|G.K. Chesterton
The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.|G.K. Chesterton
There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.|Winston Churchill
An armed society is a POLITE society|Robert A. Heinlein
And God said, Let us make man in our image.|Genesis 1:26
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less.|Lazurus Long
A little help is better than a lot of pity.|Celtic Proverb 
A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore|Yogi Berra
An elegant weapon, from a more civilized age.|Obi Wan Kenobi
I pray those who believe . . . that no one should ever say that my ignorance accomplished any small thing that I did in accordance with God's will . . . it was the gift of God|Patrick
An armed man is a citizen.  An unarmed man is a subject.|Heinlein
Am I my brother's keeper?|Genesis 3:19
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.|
Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing that way.|
An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.|
You must go and find the sick poor.  You do in that what our Lord did . . .|Saint Vincent de Paul
Famous Last Words:  "Such Is Life"|Ned Kelly
All philosophy is a form of confession.|Friedrich Nietzsche
Each of us guards a gate of change that can only be opened from the inside.|Marilyn Ferguson
All men are ignorant, just in different fields|Albert Einstein
The Kingdom of Heaven is within, but we must also make it so without.|Florence Nightingale
All is vanity, and vexation of the spirit.|Ecclesiastes 1:14
It seems clear that frequent attendance [of church] is a protective factor against a wide range of illness outcomes.|Dr. Mark Hartwig on the findings of the NIMH
All things were made by Him.|John 1:3
All's fair in love and war.  What a contemptible lie!|Heinlein
That which we obtain too easily we esteem too lightly.|Thomas Paine
All we are saying is Give Peace a Chance|Lennon
Say only a little but say it well.|Celtic Proverb 
Always be smarter than the people who hire you.|Horne
A teacher is better than two books.|German Proverb 
And the evening and the morning were the first day.|Genesis 1:5
O how happy and blessed is everyone who loves the Lord and does what the Lord himself said in the gospel:  You will love the Lord your God with your whole heart and your whole soul, and your neighbor as yourself.|Francis of Assisi
And the earth was without form, and void.|Genesis 1:2
The successful person has the habit of doing the things failures don't like to do.|E.M.Gray
And the Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden.|
And that's all I have to say about that.|Forrest Gump
Let's see what's out there|Jean Luc Picard
And a time to every purpose under heaven.|Ecclesiastes 3:1
And if I perish, I perish.|Esther 4:16
Merry Christmas, Bedford Falls!|George Bailey
A good traveler leaves no track.|Lao Tzu
I commend my soul into the hands of God my Creator, hoping and assuredly believing through the only merits of Jesus Christ my Saviour, to be made partaker of life everlasting . . .|William Shakespeare
A good loser's still a loser.|Sheriff Buck
Soli Deo Gloria|J.S. Bach
A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures.|Irish proverb
Ours is a cut-flower civilization.|Dr. Elton Trueblood
A good deed is its own reward.|Rom
A friend loveth at all times.|Proverbs 17:17
Successful communication with self and others implies correction by others as well as self-correction.|Jurgen Ruesch
A fool uttereth all his mind.|Proverbs 29:11
You cannot get an ought from an is|
A man must not swallow more beliefs than he can digest.|H. Ellison
Imagination is more important than knowledge.|Albert Einstein
The only limit to our realization of tomorrow will be our doubts of today.  Let us move forward with strong and active faith.|Franklin D. Roosevelt

A dream worth having is a dream worth fighting for.|Charles Xavier
A goal is a dream taken seriously.|Henry David Thoreau
Blame not on stupidity what is best explained by ignorance.|Heinlein
A lottery is just a tax on people who are bad at math.|Heinlein
A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation.|Saki
A dream itself is but a shadow.|William Shakespeare
A light heart lives long.|William Shakespeare
Acceptable or not, sir, it is the truth.|Data
All great truths begin as blasphemies.|George Bernard Shaw
All great men make mistakes.|Winston Churchill
We are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works . . .|Paul (Eph 2:10)
All constants are variables.|Murphy's Law of Mathematics
All battles are battles of the spirit.|Caine
Alia jacta est. (The die is cast.)|Julius Caesar
A stiff apology is a second insult.|Chesterton
I won't try to manage things because I can't think!  Won't you take me with you?|Scarecrow
There is no peace for the wicked.|YHWH (Isa 48:22)
A soft answer turneth away wrath.|Proverbs 15:1
A right delayed is a right denied.|Martin Luther King
Amazing grace!  How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me!  I once was lost, but now am found, was blind, but now I see!|John Newton
A promise is a promise, Lt. Dan.|Forrest Gump
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.|Bacon
Be nice to people on your way up because you might meet 'em on your way down.|Jimmy Durante
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.|Ecclesiastes 3:1
The word of our God stands forever|Isa 40:8
Be the change you wish to see in the world.|Ghandhi
A time to kill, and a time to heal.|Ecclesiastes 3:1
Like waking up from the longest dream, how real it seemed, until your love broke through.|Keith Green
A time to break down, and a time to build up.|Ecclesiastes 3:1
A time to be born; a time to die.|Ecclesiastes 3:1
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven|Jesus
Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted|Jesus
Who would ever think that so much went on in the soul of a young girl?|Anne Frank
To love deeply in one direction makes us more loving in all others.|Madame Swetchine
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth|Jesus
Tomorrow is another day!|Scarlett O'Hara
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled|Jesus
Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy|Jesus
Expect the worst and you won't be disappointed.|Helen MacInnes
People with bad consciences always fear the judgement of children.|Mary McCarthy
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God|Jesus
Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven|Jesus
The Queen is most anxious to enlist everyone in checking this mad, wicked folly of ``Women's Rights.'' It is a subject which makes the Queen so furious that she cannot contain herself.|Queen Victoria
Lots of people think they're charitable if they give away their old clothes and things they don't want.|Myrtle Reed
You are the light of the world.  A city that is set on a hill cannot be hidden|Jesus
Before a war, military science seems a real science, like astronomy.  After a war it seems more like astrology.|Dame Rebecca West
Have you ever taken something out of the clothes hamper because it had become, relatively, the cleanest thing?|Katharine Whitehorn
Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him|Job (13:15)
Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their pedestals.|Agnes Repplier
Hope is a thing with feathers That perches in the soul, And sings the tune without words And never stops at all.|Emily Dickinson
To be a hero or a heroine, one must give an order to oneself.|Simone Weil
My passport photo is one of the most remarkable photographs I have ever seen --- no retouching, no shadows, no flattery --- just stark me.|Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Weather means more when you have a garden.  There's nothing like listening to a shower and thinking how it is soaking in around your green beans.|Marcelene Cox
Power is the ability not to have to please.|Elizabeth Janeway
The point of quotations is that one can use another's words to be insulting.|Amanda Cross
What a wonderful life I've had!  I only wish I'd realized it sooner.|Collette
I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.|Joan Rivers
Do not think that I came to destroy the Law or the Prophets.  I did not come to destroy but to fulfill|Jesus
I prefer liberty to chains of diamonds.|Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
They say that women talk too much.  If you have worked in congress you know that the filibuster was invented by men.|Clare Booth Luce
Whoever is angry at his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgement|Jesus
I was born at the age of twelve on an MGM lot.|Judy Garland
No one really listens to anyone else, and if you try it for a while you'll see why.|Mignon McLaughlin
Never do permanent damage over a temporary situation.|
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.|Barbara Johnson 
If you stop to be kind, you must swerve often from your path.|Mary Webb
Virtue has its own reward, but no box office.|Mae West
If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out|Jesus
Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.| 
A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point.  That's the basic spelling that every woman ought to know.|Mistinguette
It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them.|Dame Rose Macauley
War has become a luxury that only small nations can afford.|Hannah Arendt
Where is God?  Where is God?  God is dead, and we have killed him!|Friedrich Nietzsche
We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us, we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.|C.S. Lewis 
Most conversations are simply monologues delivered in the presence of a witness.|Margaret Miller
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.|Bill Cosby
I don't remember anybody's name.  How do you think the 'dahling' thing got started?|Zsa Zsa Gabor
We would worry less about what people think of us, if we knew how seldom they did!|
Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.|Dr. Joyce Brothers
I like people who refuse to speak until they are ready to speak.|Lillian Hellman
Bubbagump Shrimp. It's a household name.|Forrest Gump
Brevity is the soul of wit.|William Shakespeare
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.|Henry Louis Mencken
All sins are attempts to fill voids.|Simone Weil
When an enemy digs a grave for you, God gives you an emergency exit|Kirundi Proverb
Whoever does not bear his cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.|Jesus (Lk 14:27)
Don't agonize.  Organize.|Florynce Kennedy
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly.  Tunafish casserole is at least as real as corporate stock.|Barbara Grizzuti Harrison
I stopped believing in Santa Claus at age six when my mother took me to see him in a store and he asked for my autograph.|Shirley Temple Black
When you are unhappy, is there anything more maddening than to be told that you should be contented with your lot?|Kathleen Norris
Those who are unhappy have no need for anything in this world but people capable of giving them their attention.|Simone Weil
The tourist may complain of other tourists, but he would be lost without them.|Agnes Repplier
Any given program, when running, is obsolete|Murphy's Programming Laws, #1
If you realize too acutely how valuable time it, you are too paralyzed to do anything.|Katharine Butler Hathaway
If a program is useful, it will have to be changed|Murphy's Programming Laws, #3
Everyone has talent.  What is rare is the courage to follow talent to the dark place where it leads.|Erica Jong
Most women's magazines simply try to mold women into bigger and better consumers.|Gloria Steinem
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion|Parkinson's Law
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost|Gourd's Axiom
Brains are an asset, if you hide them.|West
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth|Moses (Gen 1:1)
Whose foot is to be the measure to which ours are all to be cut or stretched?|Thomas Jefferson
There has to be a reasonable explanation for all this|Dana Scully, numerous occasions
If I hadn't started painting, I would have raised chickens.|Grandma Moses
By the time I'd grown up, I naturally supposed that I'd grown up.|Eve Babitz
[The] Law of Information: 97.6 percent of all statistics are made up.|Joel E. Cohen
At a time when people are being bombarded daily with more and more headlines and more and more information, they are, ironically, becoming less informed.|Henry Luce
The trouble with television is that if you have 12 million people watching you're a failure.  That's insane.|Fred Friendly
Americans have an extraordinary love-hate relationship with the rich culture they've created.  They buy, watch and read it even as they ban, block and condemn it.|Jon Katz
The twilight zone between living memory and written history is one of the favorite breeding places of mythology.|C. Vann Woodward
I've got a Christian conscience in a world that's got no conscience at all.|William Saroyan
Some couple go over their budgets very carefully every month, other just go over them.|Sally Poplin
If new difficulties arise, we must only put forth New Exertions and proportion our Efforts to the exigency of the times.|George Washington
We should never dispair...|George Washington
Colors, sounds and tastes exist only in our heads, they are the brains coded representations of important physical properties of the outside world...|Nicholas Wade
Living is an art.  It's not bookkeeping.  It takes a lot of rehearsing for a man to be himself.|William Saroyan
Why get your news from seasoned professionals when you can get half-witted rumors from random strangers [on the Internet]?|Joel Achenbach
Much of the information [in the "information age"] is not true.  We live in a time besotted with Bad Information.|Joel Achenbach
INTELLIGENT DISOBEDIANCE:  What seeing-eye dogs are taught - essentially that they are to obey unless they have a better idea.|Jim Taylor and Watts Wacker
If you are a good craftsman, you really know what to do, and you understand the structure, you can build a very nice building...|George Lucas
Give me liberty or give me death.|Patrick Henry
My poetry, I should think, has become the way of my giving out what music is within me.|Countee Cullen
No! No different! Only different in your mind. You must unlearn what you have learned.|Yoda
I know no way of judging the future but by the past.|Patrick Henry
[Without God] all activities are equivalent . . . Thus it amounts to the same thing whether one gets drunk alone, or is a leader of nations.|Jean-Paul Sartre
I like dreams of the future better than the history of the past.|Patrick Henry
[Man is] a fungus on the surface of one of the minor plants.|Du Maurier
When you talk to the half-wise, twaddle; when you talk to the ignorant, brag; when you talk to the sagacious, look very humble and ask their opinion.|Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss it.|Mark Twain
Once in seven years I burn all my sermons; for it is a shame if I cannot write better sermons now than I did seven years ago.|John Wesley
Think and let think.|John Wesley
Beware that you are not swallowed up in books! An ounce of love is worth a pound of knowledge.|John Wesley
I can teach anybody how to get what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want.|Mark Twain
Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.|Mark Twain
The longer I live, the larger allowances I make for human infirmities.|John Wesley
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.|Mark Twain
You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.|Mark Twain
Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn't.|Mark Twain
Never tell the truth to those unworthy of it.|Mark Twain
The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creature that cannot.|Mark Twain
There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting.|Mark Twain
One must learn to love onself...with a wholesome and healthy love, so that one can bear to be with oneself and need not roam.|Friedrich Nietzsche
A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought.|Albert Einstein
It is easier to live through someone else than to become complete yourself.|Betty Friedan
All creative people should be required to leave California for three months every year.|Gloria Swanson
Monotony is the awful reward of the careful.|A G Buckham
In the midst of winter, I finally learned that there was in me an invincible summer.|Albert Camus
But my dear man, reality is only a Rorschach ink-blot, you know.|Alan Watts
When feelings and attitudes are the main referents of argument, to attack any position is automatically to insult its holder.|Robert Hughes
To be nobody-but-myself--in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else--means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.|E E Cummings
No nice men are good at getting taxis.|Katharine Whitehorn
All marriages are happy.  It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.|Shelley Winters
Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.|Iris Murdoch
The woman whose behavior indicates that she will make a scene if she is told the truth asks to be deceived.|Elizabeth Jenkins
...One of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness...|Albert Einstein
If only we'd stop trying to be happy we'd have a pretty good time.|Edith Wharton
If the world were a logical place, men would ride side saddle.|Rita Mae Brown
Friendship is not possible between two women, one of whom is very well dressed.|Laurie Colwin
Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.|Judith Stern
Murmur not- question not- but make the most of it!|Nathaniel Hawthorne
To be matter of fact about the world is to blunder into fantasy and dull fantasy at that, as the real world is strange and wonderful.|Robert Heinlein
Hey, you American do have a lot of expressions for being crazy and dumb?  But I'm sure that's a pure coincidence :-) Or isn't it|Richard
Nothing happens as part of a predictable chain of events.|Jim Taylor and Watts Wacker
Where the world ceases to be the scene of our personal hopes and wishes, where we face it as free beings admiring, asking and observing, there we enter the realm of Art and Science.|Albert Einstein
This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication.|Western Union internal memo, 1876
Who the $@*# wants to hear actors talk?|H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927
Defend me from my friends, I can defend myself from my enemies.|Marshall Villars
Nothing can be planned.|Jim Taylor and Watts Wacker
Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.|Max Ehrmann
Q: Why is the average age of the Smulgarian Army, 40?    A: Because they take 'em right out of high school!|
Q: What do you call a Smulgarian with an I.Q. of 176?    A: A village.|
Q: What does it say at the top of a Smulgarian ladder?    A: "STOP".|
Why buy good luggage?  You only use it when you travel.|Yogi Berra
Q: Why don't they give Smulgarians a whole hour for lunch?    A: They don't want to have to retrain them.|
Refresh yourself!|Coke Feb 16, 1924
Q: What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?    A: "I don't know, and I don't care."|
And a rock feels no pain.  And an island never cries.|Paul Simon
Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possesion in the changing fortunes of time.|Max Ehrmann
But let your communication be Yea, yea; nay, nay: for whatsoever more than these cometh of evil.|Jesus (Matt 5:37)
Q: How many programmers does it take to replace a light bulb?    A: None, that's obviously a hardware problem.|
I see no reason for attributing to man a significant difference in kind from that which belongs to a grain of sand.|Sir Oliver Wendell Holmes
When you come to a fork in the road, take it.|Yogi Berra
Q: How do you sink a Smulgarian submarine?    A: Knock on the hatch!|
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.|Abraham Lincoln
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.|Redd Foxx
There is no escape - man drags man down, or man lifts man up.  You can't hold a man down without staying down with him.|Booker T Washington
Change is the essential process of all existence.|Spock
Captain, Why not give the Borg Windows 3.1?|Worf
Canst thou by searching find out God?|Job 11:7
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is: many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.|Max Ehrmann
"But, I'm not dead, yet." THWACK!|
C is for Cookie, that's good enough for me.|Cookie Monster
The graveyard is full of indispensable people.|
But a lie of ommision is still a lie.|Jean Luc Picard
Earl Grey, hot.|Jean Luc Picard
Worry is wasting today's time to clutter up tomorrow's opportunities with yesterday's troubles.|
If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be avoided by rereading and editing.|William Safire
The older I get, the better I was.|
Take the bull by the hand and avoid mixing metaphors.|William Safire
If any word is improper at the end of a sentence, a linking verb is.|William Safire
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.|William Safire
Do not put statements in the negative form.|William Safire
Whatever|Steven Curtis Chapman
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.|
We are not human beings having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.|
The passive voice should never be used.|William Safire
Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.|'Last' words of Jesus
Remember to never split an infinitive.|William Safire
Oops. My brain just hit a bad sector.|
Here I stand, I cannot do otherwise!|Martin Luther
Any road will get you there if you don't know where you're going!|
Ever notice how fast Windows runs? Neither did I.|
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.|Edmund Burke (1729-1797) 
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.|
This must be Thursday.  I never could get the hang of Thursdays.|Douglas Adams
Relax Luther.  It's much worse than you think.|Ethan Hunt
Don't try to outweird me - I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.|Douglas Adams
If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and expain that it's vitally important that you get away before your phone bill arrives.|Douglas Adams
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.|George Carlin
It is the heart always that sees, before the head can see.|Thomas Carlyle
Virtue is like health:  the harmony of the whole man.|Thomas Carlyle
The greatest of all faults, I should say, is to be conscious of none.|Thomas Carlyle
Do the duty which lieth nearest to thee!  Thy second duty will already have become clearer.|Thomas Carlyle
There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.|Robert Byrne
Advertising:  The science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it. |Stephen Leacock
A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space.|Gloria Steinem
The sooner you make your first 5000 mistakes, the sooner you will be able to correct them.|Nicolaides
Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously.|G.K. Chesterton
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.|Douglas Adams
We attract hearts by the qualities we display; we retain them by the qualities we possess.|Suard
Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other.|Denise Klahn
If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.|Graham Summer
I moved to New York City for my health.  I'm paranoid and New York was the only place where my fears were justified.|Anita Weiss
To invent, you need a good imagination and a pile of junk.|Thomas Edison
Any two philosophers can tell each other all they know in two hours.|Oliver Wendell
Flies never visit an egg that has no crack. |Chinese Proverb
Three humble shoemakers brainstorming will make a great statesman. |Chinese Proverb
If you have never done anything evil, you should not be worrying about devils to knock at your door. |Chinese Proverb
How can you put out a fire set on a cart-load of firewood with only a cup of water? |Chinese Proverb
It is easy to dodge a spear that comes in front of you but hard to keep harms away from an arrow shot.|Chinese Proverb
A good fortune may forbode a bad luck, which may in turn disguise a good fortune. |Chinese Proverb
A fall into a ditch makes you wiser. |Chinese Proverb
Last words (to firing squad):  Soldiers, save my face; aim at my heart.  Farewell.|Murat, King of Naples
Even a hare will bite when it is cornered.|Chinese Proverb
Last words:  It has all been very interesting.|Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
Distant water won't help to put out a fire close at hand. |Chinese Proverb
You can't have it all|English Proverb
Have a mouth as sharp as a dagger but a heart as soft as tofu. |Chinese Proverb
A sly rabbit will have three openings to its den. |Chinese Proverb
Shed no tears until seeing the coffin. |Chinese Proverb
Only when all contribute their firewood can they build up a strong fire. |Chinese Proverb
One monk shoulders water by himself; two can still share the labor among them. When it comes to three, they have to go thirsty. |Chinese Proverb
Once bitten by a snake, he/she is scared all his/her life at the mere sight of a rope. |Chinese Proverb
Of all the strategems, to know when to quit is the best. |Chinese Proverb
No wind, no waves.|Chinese Proverb
Mend the pen only after the sheep are all gone. |Chinese Proverb
The longer the night lasts, the more our dreams will be. |Chinese Proverb
Paper can't wrap up a fire. |Chinese Proverb
Distant water won't quench your immediate thirst. |Chinese Proverb
Butcher the donkey after it finished his job on the mill. |Chinese Proverb
A book holds a house of gold.|Chinese Proverb
An ant may well destroy a whole dam.|Chinese Proverb
Borg?  I don't see any B%^&# NO CARRIER|
Thank You oh my Father for giving us Your Son, and leaving Your Spirit 'til the work on earth is done.|Keith Green
Crows everywhere are equally black.|Chinese Proverb
"Bother!" said Pooh,I only wanted to *stun* Tigger.|
Fingers were made before forks.|Jonathan Swift
Go up to the place which you can see now. Thereafter, you will see more.|M.K. Atat"urk
To talk in public, to think in solitude, to read and to hear, to inquire, and to answer inquiries, is the business of a scholar.|Samuel Johnson
Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise.  Seek what they sought.|Basho 
All that is worth knowing can be learnt but not necessarily taught|Oscar Wilde 
Beauty and happyness are byproducts.|George Bernard Shaw.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.|Albert Einstein
Some prefer carrot while others like cabbage. |Chinese Proverb
I made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.|Blaise Pascal 
If you can't be just, be arbitrary.|William S. Burroughs
The face of evil is always the face of total need.|William S. Burroughs
The greates demands are often made by those who contribute the least. |Italian Proverb
It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.|William Blake
I must create a system or be enslaved by another man's; I will not reason and compare:  my business is to create.|William Blake
Love seeketh not Itself to please,Nor for itself hath any care,But for another gives it ease,And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.|William Blake
No bird soars too high, if he soars with his own wings.|William Blake
You can't catch a cub without going into the tiger's den.|Chinese Proverb
You must have crossed the river before you may tell the crocodile he has bad breath.|Chinese Proverb
Our technology has surpassed our humanity|Albert Einstein
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.|Chinese Proverb
If men liked shopping, they'd call it research.|Cythina Nelms
You think you lost your horse? Who knows, he may bring a whole herd back to you someday. |Chinese Proverb
If you neglect your art for one day it will neglect you for two.|Chinese Proverb
Last words:  There are six guineas for you and do not hack me as you did my Lord Russell.|Duke of Monmouth to his executioner
Without rice, even the cleverest housewife cannot cook.|Chinese Proverb
Die, my dear doctor?  That is the last thing I shall do.|Last words of Palmeston
When you are poor, neighbors close by will not come; once you become rich, you'll be surprised by visits from (alleged) relatives afar.|Chinese Proverb
A weasel comes to say "Happy New Year" to the chickens. |Chinese Proverb
We are not so much concerned if you are slow as when you come to a halt.|Chinese Proverb
Vicious as a tigeress can be, she never eats her own cubs.|Chinese Proverb
A tiger never returns to his prey he did not finish off.|Chinese Proverb
...I seem to have been only like a boy playing on the seashore and diverting myself now and then finding a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than the ordinary, whilst the great ocean of truth lay all undiscovered before me|Last words of Isaac Newton
There are always ears on the other side of the wall. |Chinese Proverb
So little done, so much to do|Last words of C.J. Rhodes
You won't help shoots grow by pulling them up higher.|Chinese Proverb
Everyone born of God overcomes the world.|I John 5:4 
When a leopard dies, he leaves his skin; a man, his reputation|Chinese Proverb
If you suspect a man, don't employ him; if you employ a man, don't suspect him. |Chinese Proverb
A man without a smiling face should not open a shop. |Chinese Proverb
To him who overcomes, I will give the right to eat from the tree of life, which is in the paradise of God.|Rev. 2:7
Don't build a new ship out of old wood.|Chinese Proverb
Light, more light!|Last words of Goethe
To guess is cheap. To guess wrong is expensive.|Chinese Proverb
I suffer nothing, but I feel a sort of difficulty in living longer|Last words of Fontenelle
Present to the eye, present to the mind.|Chinese Proverb
I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.|Chinese Proverb
We have sat on the river bank and caught catfish with pin hooks. The time has come to harpoon a whale.|John Hope
Whoever controls the media -- the images -- controls the culture.|Allen Ginsberg
A traitor is everyone who does not agree with me.|George III
Dissatisfaction with possession and achievement is one of the requisites to further achievement|John Hope
Once in a century a man may be ruined or made insufferable by praise.  But surely once in a minute something generous dies for want of it.|John Masefield
There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.|Mark Twain
Touching this wire causes instant death, any one will be caught doing so will be prosecuted.|-Posted note in train station-
Now comes the mystery|Last words of Henry Ward Beecher
Smoking kills. If you are killed, you have lost a very important part of your life.|Brooke Shield
The person who doesn't read the Bible has no advantage over the person who has no Bible|Jack Popjes, Director of Wycliffe of Canada
Old nuns never retire, they just get out of the habit.|
Opinions cannot survive if no one has a chance to fight for them.|Thomas Mann
Order and simplification are the first steps toward the mastery of a subject.|Thomas Mann
What can be added to the happiness of a man who is in health, out of debt, and has a clear conscience?|Adam Smith
The real price of everything, what everything really costs to the man who wants to acquire it, is the toil and trouble of acquiring it.|Adam Smith
The 30-second sound bite is a fact of life, but we don't have to be prisoners of it.|Adam Smith
One man's folly is another man's wife.|Helen Rowland
The penalty of success is to be bored by people who used to snub you.|Nancy Astor
Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they don't like him.|Marlene Dietrich
We all like stories that make us cry.  It's so nice to feel sad when you've nothing in particular to feel sad about.|Annie Sullivan
The best time to plan a book is while you're doing the dishes.|Agatha Christie
How many Nuclear engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?  Seven - One to change it and six to work out what to do with the old one for the next 10 000 years|
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.|Joan Rivers
It's not a bad idea to get in the habit of writing down one's thoughts.  It saves one having to bother anyone with them.|Isabel Colegate
Acting is standing up naked and turing around very slowly.|Rosalind Russell
Compassion is no substitute for justice. |Rush Limbaugh
What is the difference between God and a lawyer?       God doesn't think he's a lawyer. |
Go away . . . I'm all right.|Last words of H.G. Wells
Why did the lawyer cross the road?       To get to the car accident on the other side. |
Have you heard about the lawyers' word processor?      No matter What font you select, everything come out in fine print. |
He who knows only his own generation remains always a child.|George Norlin
What is the difference between baseball and law?       In baseball, if you're caught stealing, you're out. |
There is virtue in the open, there is healing out of doors; The great Physician makes his rounds among the forest floors.|Bliss Carmen
Freedom is God given. |Rush Limbaugh
Dying is a very dull dreary affair.  My advice to you is to have nothing to do with it.|Last words of W. Somerset Maugham
True prayer is asking God what He wants.|William Barclay
If you think you're too small to make a difference, you've obviously never been in bed with a mosquito.|Michelle Walker
We mistakenly think God gave us children for us to raise them ... I think God gives us children for Him to finish the process of raising us.|Dennis Rainey
You should always carry a gun.  Not to shoot yourself, but to know that you're always making a choice.|Lina Wertmuller
I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And that which I can do, by the grace of God, I will do.|Dwight L. Moody
He was useless above the ground. He ought to have been underneath it, inspiring the cabbages.|Mark Twain
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss it, you will land among the stars.|Les Brown
Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.|Mark Twain
Enjoy the little things, for one day you will look back and realize they were the Big Things.|Jim Mustian
Lead your life so you won't be ashamed to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.|Will Rogers Jr.
There are some people who leave impressions not so lasting as the imprint of an oar upon the water.|Kate Chopin
The way to do research is to attack the facts at the point of greatest astonishment.|Celia Green
He who laughs last didn't get it.|Helen Giangregorio
Van Gogh became a painter because he had no ear for music.|Nikki Harris
If age imparted wisdom, there wouldn't be any old fools.|Claudia Young
Ideas are like children -- your own are wonderful.|
When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping.  Man invade another country.  It's a whole different way of thinking.|Elayne Boolser
Imagination and fiction make up more than three quarters of our real life.|Simone Weil
Our ability to delude ourselves may be an important survival tool.|Jane Wagner
Doctors and nurses are people who give you medicine until you die.|Deborah Martin
Humor is the first of the gifts to perish in a foreign tongue.|Virginia Woolf
Once a woman has forgiven a man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.|Marlene Dietrich
Probably the only place where a man can feel really secure is in a maximum security prison, except for the imminent threat of release.|Germaine Greer
Fortunately, psychoanalysis is not the only way to resolve inner conflicts.  Life itself remains a very effective therapist.|Karen Horney
Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title.|Virginia Woolf
I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me that trouble of liking them.|Jane Austen
We met Dr. Hall in such deep mourning that either his mother, his wife, or himself must be dead.|Jane Austen
People don't live nowadays --- they get about ten percent out of life.|Isadora Duncan
The follies which a man regrets the most in his life are those which he didn't commit when he had the opportunity.|Helen Rowland
Women want mediocre men, and men are working to become as mediocre as possible.|Margaret Mead
The ultimate indignity is to be given a bedpan by a stranger who calls you by your first name.|Maggie Kuhn
It should be a very happy marriage --- they are both so much in love with him.|Irene Thomas
Being an old maid is like death by drowning, a really delightful sensation after you cease to struggle.|Edna Ferber
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.|Margot Asquith
The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any.|Katharine Whitehorn
I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.|Elayne Boosler
Different taste in jokes is a great strain on the affections.|George Eliot (Mary Ann Evans)
If at first you don't succeed, why go on and make a fool of yourself?|Susanna Pomeory
Art is one thing that can go on mattering once it has stopped hurting.|Elizabeth Bowen
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.|Maryon Pearson
Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.|Cythina Nelms
Before I met my husband I'd never fallen in love, though I'd stepped in it a few times.|Rita Rudner
Life is hard.  After all, it kills you.|Katherine Hepburn
I don't have false teeth.  Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?|Carole Burnett
The only aspect of our travels that is interesting to others is disaster.|Martha Gellman
Travel, instead of broadening the mind, often merely lengthens the conversation.|Elizabeth Drew
I'm never going to be famous.  I don't do anything, not one single thing.  I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.|Dorothy Parker
Some want to live within the sound of church or chapel bell, I want to run a rescue shop within a yard of hell.|C.T. Studd
Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.|Dorothy Parker
If someone tells you he is going to make ``a realistic decision,' you immediately understand that he is going to do something bad.|Mary McCarthy
Cynicism is an unpleasant way of telling the truth.|Lillian Hellman
Ever notice that Soup For One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?|Elayne Boosler
Having something to say is overrated.|Adair Lara
The vote means nothing to women.  We should be armed.|Edna O'Brien
We are so vain that we even care for the opinions of those we don't care for.|Marie Egner von Eschenbach
Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.|Mae West
A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.|Katharine Whitehorn
You can't build a reputation on what you intend to do.|Liz Smith
And what is the use of a book without pictures or conversation?|Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain. |Mark Twain
Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.|Ambrose Redmoon 
That man is not truly brave who is afraid either to seem or to be, when it suits him, a coward.|Edgar Allan Poe
Bait the hook according to what the fish likes, not what the fisherman likes!|Hemingway
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. |Mark Twain
The report of my death was an exaggeration.|Mark Twain
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try.|Beverly Sills 
Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first base.|Fredrick Wilcox 
Live dangerously and you live right.|Johann Wolfgang von Goethe 
The man who insists upon seeing with perfect clearness before he decides, never decides. Accept life, and you must accept regret.|Henri-Frdric Amiel
The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it.|Thucydides 
Always acknowledge a fault. This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more. |Mark Twain
The two most beautiful words in the English language are "check enclosed."|Dorothy Parker
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.|Fran Lebowitz
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant --- and let the air out of their tires.|Dorothy Parker
Running away will never make you free.|Kenny Loggins
I'd marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he'd be dead within a year.|Bette Davis
You should always believe what you read in the newspapers, for that makes them more interesting.|Rose Macauley
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.|Joan Rivers
Sometimes you have to step over the line to know where the line is.|Penn
Cowards die many times before their deaths; The valiant never taste of death but once.|William Shakespeare
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?|
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?|
You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers.  You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions.|Naguib Mahfouz
The West has finally achieved the rights of man, and even to excess, but man's sense of responsibility to God and society has grown dimmer and dimmer|Alexandre Solzhenitsyn
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?|
If nothing sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?|
You don't die of a broken heart, you only wish you did.|Marilyn Peterson
Cooking is like love.  It should be entered into with abandon or not at all.|Harriet Van Horne
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?|
The best way out is always through.|Robert Frost
Since fear is mostly about ignorance, the best part is that it's as temporary as you choose.|Christine Comaford, 1996
Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway.|Robert Anthony
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?|
And is life so dear that we should blame men for dying in adventure?  Is there a better way to die?|Charles Lindbergh
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?|
Guidelines for Bureaucrats: 1. When in charge, ponder.  2. When in trouble, delegate. 3. When in doubt, mumble.|James H. Boren
A bureaucrat's idea of cleaning up his files is to make a copy of every paper before he destroys it.|Laurence J. Peter
Never invoke the gods unless you really want them to appear.  It annoys them very much.|Gilbert Keith Chesterton
He who would do good to another must do it in Minute Particulars.  General Good is the plea of the scoundrel, hypocrite, & flatterer.|William Blake
God cannot be grasped by the mind.  If he could be grasped, he would not be God.|Evagrius of Pontus
In regard to this great book . . . it is the best gift God has given to men.  All the good Saviour gave to the world was communicated through this book.  But for it we could not know right from wrong.|Abraham Lincoln
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?|
KEEP AWAY FROM FIRE|On tags of George children's clothes
Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.|Winston Churchill
Success is not measured by the heights one attains, but by the obstacles one overcomes in the attainment.|Booker T Washington
Went to church today, and was not greatly depressed.|Robert Louis Stevenson
Al hierro caliente batir de repente. (Strike while the iron's hot)|
Cada quien tiene su manera de matar pulgas. (Each has his own way to kill fleas)|
Cada perico a su estaca, cada changa a su mecate.  (Each parrot on its perch, each monkey on its rope.)|
Caras vemos, corazones no sabemos.(Faces we see, hearts we don't know)|
Claro como el agua de Xochimilco (Clear as the water of Xochimilco - clear as mud)|
Do not bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors. Try to be better than yourself.|Willam Faulkner
Times are bad.  Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.|Cicero
I will not let any man reduce my soul to the level of hatred.|Booker T Washington
Two men look out through the same bars; one sees the mud and one the stars|Frederick Langbridge
Do everything you can for the betterment of your fellow-men and in doing this you will enjoy life the better.|John D Rockefeller
We succeed in enterprises which demand the positive qualities we possess, but we excel in those which can also make use of our defects.|Alexis de Tocqueville
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's
character, give him power.|Abraham Lincoln
All that is not given is lost.|Indian Proverb
One should not need to use a rapier to cut the string of a parcel.|Hercule Poirot (Agatha Christie)
Toilet out of order.  Please use floor below.|Sign in London washroom
Bargain basement upstairs|Sign in London department store
We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines, etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain?|Sign on second hand shop
Elephants please stay in your car|Sign at safari park
We can repair anything.  (Please knock hard on the door the bell doesn't work.)|Sign on repair shop door
The blood of the martyrs is the seed of evangelism|Christian Nigerian saying
We are leaky vessels and we need to stay under the fountain all the time.|D L Moody
The flack is always the heaviest closest to the target.|Boyd K. Packer
I don't know|Last words of Philosopher Peter Abelard (1079-1142)
Good time management is not doing the wrong things quicker. Its doing 
the right things in the first place.|Don Wetmore
Man is never truly himself except when he is actively creating something.|Dorothy Sayers
A nation that forgets its past can function no better than an individual with amnesia.|David McCullough
All sickness is homesickness.|Dianne Connelly
Men are quite a race, curious to know the lives of others and lazy to change their own.|Augustine (4th cent AD)
All other swindlers upon earth are nothing to the self-swindlers . . .|Charles Dickens (Pip in Great Expectations)
A day of worry is more exhausting than a week of work.|John Lubbock
There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.|Harold Stephens
Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.|Corrie Ten Boom
Civilization has a natural resistance against improving itself.|from An American In Paris (1951)
The difference between adults and children is that adults don't ask questions.|American Proverb
Conscience is that still, small, voice that people don't listen to|Disney's Pinocchio
Lord Jesus, I am weary in Thy work, but not of it.|George Whitefield